Many young adults (and older adults, too) contemplate going back to school for a career change. Many of us experience major change in our lives and consider using that as an opportunity. Well, 28-year-old, Maryland-native, Lauren Ruch is taken action on not only change in her life, but a career change.

Seven years ago, Lauren graduated Frostburg State University with an undergraduate degree in business administration with a concentration in marketing. At first, she worked at a sports bar and worked part time at Wachovia Bank while looking for a full-time job. Her first “real” job, she says, was at T. Rowe Price where she began her career as a service analyst and was promoted to retirement plan coordinator. After T. Rowe Price, Lauren moved to Arlington, VA and worked at a foreign exchange firm. 

“At the end of 2008, my boyfriend of five years and I decided to part ways, and it was the hardest break-up I’ve ever been through,” said Lauren. ”Going through the heartache of separation, moving back to Maryland from Virginia, and being on my own again, I just decided it was the best opportunity for me to change my career and go on a different path.” 

It’s Time for a Career Change

Lauren had wanted a career change, and says she always planned on going back to school. She took her GMATs, and months later decided to also take the LSATs.

“It started as a childhood dream,” said Lauren. “Then when I wanted the career change and had the opportunity to make that change for myself, I decided to apply to law school. It was different from what I was doing before (finance/business), but I decided I wanted more than to just get my MBA. Law school isn’t only a huge challenge—especially going back to school after being out for seven years—but I feel it will offer more opportunities for me.”

Major Career Change Requires Full Time Attention

Lauren will be attending the University of Baltimore full time, and it will take her three years to complete. She’s not sure what type of law she’s going to study.

“As a first year student, your classes are set by the school so you don’t have to pick a field starting out,” said Lauren. “I’m going to wait until I get into my classes to see what I’m most interested in and feel the most passionate about. If I had to pick now, I guess I would say corporate law just because it would match my business background.”

Lauren says one of the most rewarding aspects of her career change is that she set a goal for herself and carried through with it. As far as challenges, Lauren says she has a lot of anxiety about going back to school again, being the new ‘kid’, and is worried about being able to keep up with her studies.

“What’s motivating me is graduating and looking forward to a successful career,” said Lauren. “I also think about my family a lot and making them proud of me.”

Lauren is a great example for each of us in regard to not only following our dreams, but making those dreams happen.
To those women considering a career change, Lauren says, “Believe in yourself, stay focused, and take everything one step at a time.”

Lauren Answers the Famous Identity Five:

1. What have you accepted in your life that took time?
Having to work hard for everything you have can be a blessing.

2.  What do you appreciate the most in your life?

My friends, my brothers, and my boyfriend all support me and make me laugh.

3.  What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life?

My college scholarship.

4.  What is your not-so-perfect way?

I eat way too many sweets!

5.  Complete this sentence, “I Love My…”
I Love My…Smile!

By Perizae (Peri) Tzantarmas

I’m 23-years-old – considered young by most. Many people look me in the eyes and say I have an old soul. I guess it’s because I’ve done a lot of soul searching, and sometimes that can feel quite tiring.

I grew up in a traditional Greek family, in which religion, family, and food were the only fundamentals in life. My genetics never allowed a fast metabolism nor a desire to be physically active, thus giving me curves in all the wrong places – as a kid. Naturally, I was bullied for being different. Although I was the chubby, nerdy girl at school, I had determination – a fierce drive to become an empowered, beautiful, educated woman someday.

While the other girls were idolizing Britney Spears, I was dreaming of becoming someone like the writer Toni Morrison, or the Dalai Lama, a change-maker in my community. I knew at that age, in elementary school, that as long as I was living on the planet, girls should never feel inadequate, and never be bullied for being unique. I knew that a paradigm shift in myself was deeply necessary for inner-beauty to thrive.

How in the world would I accomplish this? Throughout my adolescence, I continued to struggle with my sense of self-worth. Peer pressure got the better of me, and eventually bulimia, the eating disorder, was a governing wager of my happiness, along with young men and partying. At age 16, it took a huge leap of faith for me to find what ended up being the most beautiful discovery: who I was on the inside really did matter!

On My Way to Become Empowered

In my late teen years, I completed hundreds of self-development books – books that people in their 30s and 40s read after divorce, bankruptcy, and so on. I attended seminars and workshops for one purpose alone; to obtain a sense of myself – that little girl who wanted to create beauty, to create change.

Finally, as if by some miracle, I began to truly honor myself. I embarked on an inner-journey and totally embraced the imperfections and mistakes I had created for myself. One day, I looked in the mirror and said “Peri, you are beautiful.” I believed what I said, and that’s all I needed. I was empowered.

Once I accepted myself, my whole, perfect, beautiful self – opportunities seemed to fall in my lap. That’s when I met Debra Gano.

Empowered Times Two

Debra Gano is the CEO and President of BYOU “Be Your Own You!”, a girls’ self-esteem apparel and educational company. She is also the best-selling author of the Heartlight Girls series, and the founder/publisher of BYOU ‘Be Your Own You’ magazine for girls. Her book, Beauty’s Secret: A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty is the recipient of multiple national awards, including Gold Winner of the Mom’s Choice Award. Debra is a former international model and actress who now dedicates her life to the empowerment of girls and women, and speaks as a national expert on self-esteem.

The majority of work she does is to help women and girls to overcome feelings of inadequacy. This feeling is deep-seated from childhood and affects both men and women, however the unrealistic standard of beauty and unhealthy role models and media women encounter daily exacerbates this issue deeply with this particular gender. This feeling can defeat dreams, crush opportunities, and remove much joy out of life, causing a person to miss much of her life and miss being empowered. That is one of the reasons she is so passionate about helping kids with this issue; so they don’t miss many productive years of their lives, living with this disabilitating, and common, fear.

Now, I work as Debra Gano’s personal assistant. It truly is an incredible feeling, knowing that I work with a woman who has extreme dedication to the empowerment of women and girls. Debra is such an inspiration to me, simply because she is real. When young girls and their mothers attend our workshops or read the book, I can see that it’s Debra’s authentic presence that truly allows transformation to take place within themselves. I work with Debra daily, and I can honestly say that she “walks the walk” as a person of integrity and power. Debra is leading a giant community of women and girls who have an incredible sense of their own inner beauty and healthy self-esteem. I had to learn about my sense of self-worth the hard way, so I am honored to be a part of Debra’s mission – a mission that places such powerful tools in the hands of young girls and their mothers, in a very tangible way!

Both Debra and I have visions of beautiful, unique, empowered young women. I have dedicated my energy to BYOU “Be Your Own You!” and Heartlight Girls because I want to give girls the means to overcome any situation of feeling inadequate. I want them to know that they are beautiful, and unique, and powerful – just the way they are. I want them to know this, because I understand that they might not believe it themselves. If just one girl is able to look in the mirror, as I did, and genuinely find beauty in her imperfectness, I have done my job in helping another feel empowered.

1.    What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

It took a while for me to accept my physical body. I used to loathe my wide hips the most. I’m finally able to look at myself as my loved ones do– a curvy, voluptuous goddess!

2.    What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

What I appreciate the most about myself is my ability to create beauty from thin air. I try to find the lesson, and the opportunity to see perfection in imperfection situations. To me, that’s what beauty is all about.

3.    What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

The most rewarding achievement in my life was when I decided to write a novel. It’s strange and different – totally not the type of book I enjoy reading by other authors. It’s an ongoing collection of thoughts and ideas right now and there is so much passion behind it, I can’t help but considering that finishing the book as a goal I still have.

4.    What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I’m an Aries – and can own up to every positive and negative quirk that zodiac sign possesses. I’m extremely driven and passionate, but sometimes I can bulldoze right over people – and their feelings. I know it’s not-so-perfect of me, but I can’t help who I am!

5.    How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

….books. I love my books! I never want to stop learning and experiencing. Books are my vehicle to transformation, being empowered and I can’t have enough of them!

By Melody Brooke

Melody Brooke

My daughter Athena is an extraordinary person and mother. Growing up she was the most headstrong child you can imagine. My friends and family all thought I should be more of a disciplinarian and reign her in more. But she was the kind of child you could have beaten till she was out cold and she would have continued to fight you (not that I ever did, I just instinctively knew this). So I learned ways to set limits with this extremely bright, headstrong child.

After graduating from college from the University of Texas, she moved to San Diego to be near her boyfriend whom she had met online. She moved to the other side of the country on her own, with only the boyfriend, and an aunt, as a connection there. She financed the move on her own, living at her aunts for only a month. She got a job within a month of being out there and was on her own. She then stared law school and eventually married her boyfriend.

Then, joyfully, she got pregnant with my precious grand daughter. At Christmas time, 2010, my husband and I went out to be with her after the baby was born. It was a difficult labor and delivery, but all seemed to have gone well. They came home three days afterwards. But my grand daughter just didn’t take to breastfeeding. I knew that was not that uncommon so I encouraged her to stick with it, helping her any way I could. But within a week, we knew something bigger was going on. She reached out into the community for help and finally, three weeks later, discovered that she had not developed the ability to suck at all. Then they realized, she was completely deaf. As they continued to struggle with feedings, they slowly found that this beautiful little girl had been born with an under developed brain stem. After several months of it taking them three hours to feed her, and feeding her every four hours, they opted to put in a feeding tube. The baby began to thrive as they got her more and more help. All of this, while attempting to continue her law career. Both she and her husband are active in her care, sharing feedings and changes when he can. Luckily she worked for a small firm and they have been tremendously supportive as they have gone through this process.

Athena and Husband, John

Sometime in the first few months, they also discovered she has a rare eye condition in which her cornea has no feeling and she doesn’t know to protect it, and , to make matters worse, it can’t heal properly. This requires them to be constantly vigilant to protect her eyes, and to keep putting eye drops in every 15 minutes. She doesn’t feel the dry eyes, so they have to keep them moisturized for her or she will go blind.

In November she was approved to get little Eve a cochlear implant. This was finally done in January, and it was turned on in April. As far as she can tell, there is still no hearing resulting from the procedure, but they keep trying. And they keep learning sign language, and fighting for help from within the medical and educational system.

Athena now has a part time position where she works from home much of the week. This allows her to got to the multiple therapy sessions and doctors appointments set for this charming little girl. Sometimes she wants to give up. Sometimes the panic over her eyes and the fact that she may end up deaf and blind overwhelms her so much that she doesn’t know if she can go on. But she does, looking in to the face of this beautiful child, my grand daughter Eve, keeps her going. Her love and persistence in caring for Eve have surprised and pleased every doctor they have seen. Eve, in spite of her problems, is now crawling, and even pulling herself up. She has begun eating some solid food and signing.

We all expect our children to be born perfectly, with no problems other than the normal ones. Athena is no different. But rather than whining and complaining and resisting acceptance of what is, Athena takes the bull by the horns and fights for her daughter. This is where her headstrong, bull headed personality have paid off. God knew what she was doing giving this child to her.

By Amy D. Cohen, BFRP

It was 10 years ago when I received the call that my father had a heart attack and I had to get to Florida right away.  I had to deal with five different doctors, who all had their own belief on whether my father should live or die.  It was overwhelming to say the least. Who ever thought we would have to make these decisions for our parents?

At the same time, I had just sold my home, needed to get my children out of the horrible school they were in, find a new house, and to make matters worse, my marriage was falling apart.  I knew I hit rock bottom when I could not remember how to get back to my fathers apartment, which was only ten minutes away.  It took over an hour to get there and I think I may have been in the throws of a nervous breakdown.  I knew I needed help, but could natural remedies be the answer?

I called my doctor in the homeopathy and she was sending me a natural flower remedy. Are you kidding me?  Did she hear me?  Natural remedies, a flower is her choice?  Wheres the xanex, was my thought!

These Natural Remedies Provided a Clear Mind

I honestly can’t remember what the exact natural remedies she gave me, but I took the remedy with a couple of drops a few times a day. Within a few days, I was able to make decisions for my father with clarity.  I had confidence in my decisions and was able to handle the doctors.  After all, who knew my father best and to make decisions on his behalf.

Maybe is was a mind over matter situation, but I had a renewed outlook and handled everything the way I wanted!

Is this what natural remedies are capable of?

After returning home I did more investigating, using flower remedies for my kids, my husband, and even my animals!  Believe it or not, good things started happening.

My son who was so shy he barely spoke, and after the using the natural remedies, he started to open up  more and speak.  My husband and I, on natural remedies, started to communicate better.  Our negative thoughts and behaviors were disappearing.  Life was changing for all of us and it was an amazing feeling.

I studied homeopathy for three years and studied flower remedies.  This is not aromatherapy or essential oils.  These natural flower remedies are their own healing mode that work on our emotional issues.  They have been extremely profound in their help for myself and my family, which is why I chose this as a new career path.

Flower remedies work well with adults and children in helping them achieve their goals, think clearly, fears, stress, traumas, anxiety, sadness, procrastination, self-love, focus, anger, tantrums, feeling stuck,  and feel confident.  Natural remedies, especially flower remedies may reverse any negative thoughts, behaviors or feelings that do not serve us well.

These flowers are natural remedies and are non-toxic, no chemicals, do not interfere with medications, and most importantly,  each remedy can be custom blended to help with your own personal needs.

It sounds too good to be true, I know!  But I lived it and it changed my life – natural remedies using flowers can change yours too!

Amy D. Cohen, BFRP, is a Flower Remedies Practitioner who focuses on emotional healing. Learn more about Amy and her natural remedies using flowers here.

“Inspire – to stimulate somebody to do something; to encourage somebody to great effort or enthusiasm.”

By Megan Lubin

I nervously wrung my hands together, as a moment of hesitation came over me. The what-ifs were beginning to creep in, voicing their questions and doubts. But then a familiar sound – the cooing and laughter of my son – suddenly snapped me back to reality and the sterile doctor’s office I was in. I looked over at my husband and son, and knew instantly what I had to do. On that day, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I signed my name and elected to have a surgery that would not only change my life, but our life as a family forever.

A year earlier, my son Sutton Matthew was born three months early, weighing a mere two pounds and five ounces. After a complicated pregnancy marred with constant episodes of bleeding, my son could no longer share the womb with a gigantic fibroid tumor that had grown triple its size during my pregnancy. I remember waking up from my emergency c-section and feeling this void where my growing belly had been. In its place: a five inch swollen and red scar that ran from my pubic bone to my navel. I sat up in pain, but I desperately wanted to see my son.

As I was strolled towards the NICU, I remember getting butterflies in my stomach at the thought of finally getting to meet this precious boy that had arrived 14 weeks early. Once I laid eyes on him, I knew he was mine. His thin red skin, thick lips and tiny toes were all I could see, as his preemie diaper swallowed him up and wires and probes tangled all around him. But he was mine and he was fighting. I was so proud that he was my son – a tiny preemie with a huge will to survive and appreciate his life.

After two and a half months in the NICU, Sutton was able to come home right before Christmas 2010. It was one of the most blessed holidays I have ever had. My husband Brad and I were overjoyed at our son’s progress and his sweet disposition. As the months wore on, Sutton grew bigger and stronger, and with each developmental appointment was amazing his doctors with how well he was doing. He was slowly gaining weight and meeting all of his milestones, and after all we had been through, it was encouraging to have such a healthy son. But for me, it wasn’t enough to just enjoy Sutton’s progress. Months of searching for resources yielded little helpful information, and the desire to do more had planted its seed. I knew I wanted to document my experience and share it with others somehow, but didn’t know where to begin. Sutton was such an inspiration to me – everyday teaching me about endless love, grace and the will to survive. It was then that the brain child that would become His Middle Name was born, and within weeks I had started a website without knowing the response it would receive or what it would become.

At the same time I was starting His Middle Name, I was also dealing with the physical ramifications of the fibroid tumor that was left behind in my battered uterus. I had lost so much blood the night Sutton was born that to remove it then would have caused even more blood loss. Not to mention, the primary focus of my emergency c-section was to save the life of the baby inside of me, not to perform a complicated gynecologic surgery. As I shopped around like Goldilocks, looking for the perfect doctor to perform the surgery, my son was growing up beautifully and the innate desire to have another baby was eating away at me. Being one of six, I had always dreamed of having a house teeming with children, so if there was any way I could save my fertility, I wanted to pursue it.

The summer soon turned into fall, and I still hadn’t made a decision. To be honest, I was stalling. I was doing my best to go on as if I wasn’t facing such a huge decision and that I wasn’t in any pain. But I was in pain. My abdomen had swollen to the size of a 20 week pregnancy, but I wasn’t pregnant. The cramps could be felt radiating down my legs and the unexpected bleeding spells continued. Then something happened: simple and divine inspiration. It was subtle, but it came from such a personal place that I couldn’t deny it. The celebration of my son’s first birthday was the culmination of year of miracles for us, and it brought back such strong feelings and sentiments as my husband and I honored Sutton’s first year of life. Remembering how my son had fought through every trial he faced in the NICU to come home healthy and strong was enough to motivate me about my own health.

Then I finally realized that one of the best things I could do for my son was to take care of myself so I could take care of him. To me, Sutton is all things pure and innocent and lovely in this world, and that was worth fighting for. I love him more than anything, and he deserves to have his mommy there. A healthy mommy that is capable of running after him when he’s on the go, and the energy to keep up. By Thanksgiving I had finally chosen a doctor that had the expertise and the gentle bedside manner I so desperately needed. He said he would try his very best to preserve my fertility, but not knowing what he would be facing would make that a game time decision.

I Appreciate the Hard Decision

April 5th marked four months since my surgery. Although I had to have a hysterectomy to remove my tumor and some pelvic reconstruction to repair my bladder, I feel amazing and my energy is soaring through the roof. I can’t believe that such a hard decision, one that forced me to face some hard truths, would enable me to feel so healthy. Because I am feeling healthier than I have in years and am able to do more physically, my confidence as a woman has grown too.

Appreciate and Acceptance

Acceptance has been my lesson and the experience behind it has been humbling. For me, inspiration to fight for my health didn’t come from a larger than life character or an untouchable celebrity. It came from a little boy, one that entered the world three months early, and whose toys I trip over almost daily. In my own search for clarity and health, His Middle Name has expanded its mission from preemie advocacy and parent support to include more education initiatives to help women lead healthier lives and have healthy pregnancies.

I have even created a Facebook page that has fans from all over the world and has become an online repository of information, featured articles, my blog posts and shared family stories. Without my son as the inspiration, and all that he teaches me and my husband about love and life, none of it would have been possible!

1.    What have you accepted in your life that took time physically or mentally?

I have accepted that home, truly, is where the heart is. I always had this dream of raising my family in Arkansas, and I still may some day, but for now the big city is the place we call home and we have created a beautiful life here for ourselves. I now know home is what you make it, not where you are.

2.    What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate that I am a full time working mother. I love my job as a Regulatory Administrator in Gynecologic Oncology, and that I am able to do such important work. I believe it’s so important to give of yourself – to do something bigger than you are as a person. At the end of the day, I am able to come home and feel good about myself as a woman, mother and provider. I appreciate that about myself.

3.    What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

Besides having my precious son, starting His Middle Name is probably the one thing I am most proud of myself for having the courage to do. Sharing a life experience that is so deeply personal and the self reflection it requires can be difficult at times, but I made a promise to all who follow the site that I would be as candid as possible. Not putting a filter on my writing has been very healing and cathartic for me. I especially feel validated in my choice to share my experience when I receive emails of thanks, or when others share their stories with me. But I still have goals in regards to my personal life though: I want to travel more, learn another language, craft and sew more and have another baby someday. But for now, I am enjoying my husband and son more than ever.

4.    What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I can be very hard on myself sometimes, which probably means I can be hard on others as well. As difficult as that is to admit, I am teaching myself every day how to be gentle with myself, forgive myself and others and how to relax and enjoy life. I try not to complicate my life with excess, but that seems to be my challenge in life: distinguishing the difference between needs and wants, and when to give in to the latter.

5.    How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?

… morning coffee with my husband. It’s such a simple pleasure, but it gives us time to chat, play with our son and plan our day. It a great way to get up and go!

Megan Lubin is the founder of His Middle Name, an online resource that provides support, advocacy and education initiatives to parents of preemies and those who have experienced pregnancy complications. She was a collegiate honor student and is a Regulatory Affairs Administrator in Gynecologic Oncology. Megan lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and one year old son.

By Theresa Thaxton

There have been several women over the years who have inspired me to become who I am today and who I will become tomorrow. I hope you find their stories an inspiration as well.

First of all, my lovely grandmother Rodessa Battle was one of the most influential people in my life because she taught me the importance of hard work and dedication in every aspect of my life. She virtually raised a family of 10 children alone after my grandfather passed away from cancer.

Secondly, she went on to attend college at the age of 49 and obtained two degrees an AA and AS in early childhood development, and social human services. Boy did she have inspiration and motivation!

Thirdly, she helped raise me while she was still attending college and I was in high school; encouraging me when my grades were failing by saying these famous words: “If grandma can do it, so can you.” From that point on, my grades improved from C’s and D’s to straight A’s. This turn around in my life allowed me to attend college. Today, I have two bachelor’s degrees, and I graduated with straight A’s as a Suma Cum Laude student. Now I am about to start graduate school and later I plan on obtaining my PhD to become a communications scholar.

Where to Find Inspiration

Another woman who has personally given myself and my life inspiration is teacher and evangelist Joyce Meyer. First of all, like myself she is a woman of God who loves the lord. She is a prime example of how God can take an ordinary person who has many flaws and use them to do great things.

Recently, while watching her on television I was going through a very difficult time in my life and needed some inspiration. Joyce told the story of how she was an unknown minister who had big dreams of traveling around the world and ministering to people in need. Like Joyce I have similar dreams of doing motivational speaking to the masses in this country and around the world. However, being a new author I was feeling discouraged because the sales from my first book were not doing well.

While watching Joyce on television she shared the story of how she began her journey into what is now known as Joyce Myer’s Ministry. When she first began no one showed up to her conferences nor did they purchase her CD’s.  In fact, at one conference the only people who showed up were the five people that she had brought with her. Also, at another conference she only sold one CD and later the person decided to return it. These incidents made her feel like a failure and very discouraged but she did not give up on her dream. She went on to say, “You should never despise the day of small beginnings because faithfulness is what counts.”

Today, she is a well known teacher and evangelist. However, it is nice to know that she started at the bottom like the rest of us, and if she can do it so can I. Her words inspired me to not give up on the days of small beginnings no matter how slow my book sales are, or if no one is inviting me to do speaking engagements because we all have to start somewhere.

Similarly, Oprah Winfrey has had a profound effect on my life because of her drive to help others live their best lives. Although I do not have the social platform or monetary means to help others like she does, I still enjoy encouraging people who come to me for advice or assistance. There have been many occasions where Oprah helped people in need such as in the Katrina disaster that brought me to tears. No, she was not giving these people hand outs she was giving them a hand up in life. I am a firm believer in helping other people fulfill their destiny and purpose in life.

We all need someone to help us fulfill our dreams or even to find our callings and purpose in life. We were all designed to meet the needs of others. There would be no need for doctors if there were no sick people. There would be no need for motivational speakers if everyone were always encouraged and had their inspiration. I am also a firm believer in learning from other people’s lives; wisdom does not come with old age, but it comes when we learn from our mistakes and make positive changes to our lives. This is why Oprah’s television series, called Life Class has been so beneficial to me and providing the inspiration I need.

There have been many stars on this program that have shared their personal secretes of success that have given me the wisdom and encouragement necessary to fulfill my own destiny.

Learn From Others Inspiration

Learning from their inspiring stories can enable me to achieve success a lot sooner in my own life. These are just some of the reasons why Oprah’s role as an African American woman, giver, entrepreneur and inspirational speaker has inspired me to live my best life.

Theresa answers our Identity Five:

 1. What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I have accepted the fact that it took me nine years to get my bachelors degree. However, I had to overcome both physical and mental barriers in order to achieve this goal. In 1985, I flunked out of college and had to endure the shameful feeling of inferiority and inadequacy that plagued my heart and soul. As a result, in 2004, I decided to go back to college to obtain my bachelors degree, but found it exhausting and nearly impossible because I was plagued with one illness after another.

2. What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

One of the things that I appreciate most about myself is the ability to care for hurting people even when I do not know them. Also, the thing that I appreciate most within my life is the ability to see because I started losing my eye sight several years ago, and I could have been completely blind.

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

One of my most rewarding achievements in life is graduating from college with two bachelor’s degrees, while maintaining straight A’s and being a delegate to the 2012 International Scholar Laureate Program. This is an amazing achievement for someone who originally flunked out of college.

Some of my goals for the future are to obtain my masters degree and PhD in communications. This would allow me to become a communications scholar who writes books and travels around the world motivating others to fulfill their life pursuits. Also, I would like to write books that are made into movies.

4. What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

One of the quirks that is unique to my identity is my unusual laugh. All of my life people have imitated my laugh because it is loud and irresistibly funny. However, sometimes in a foreign place filled with unfamiliar people my laugh can bring unwarranted criticism because it warrants everyone’s attention. As a result, this tends to be my not so perfect way.

5. How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my voice. For many years, I have resisted the way I spoke because I felt it was uncharacteristic of someone who was well versed in the English language. However, now that I am older I have come to realize that we all have unique voices that characterize who God has made us just like our DNA signifies the very fabric of who we are as people.

I hope reading this gives you the inspiration you need in your day-to-day life!

Self-Judgment is Still Controlling
Many of Our Minds…

This month I want to work on our self-judging issues because at the age of 31, I hear many younger women compare and judge themselves against others and I hear older women judge themselves against others.

To judge is the ability to make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense

I always thought when I was a young-adult that the self-judgment would go away as I became a woman.  I’m lucky. I have learned to love and appreciate my physical self and my intelligence, BUT many of our female peers still struggle to be confident and continue to think harshly of themselves by constantly comparing their looks, smarts, families, life, and the list goes on.

I’m sure you have experienced many of these feelings as well…If you haven’t, I want to know your secret!

I’ve heard it all (well most), I’ve been put down, picked up, spit out, and swallowed with nasty words from others and the horrible inside chatter with my own self-judgment.

How do we stop the self-judgment?

I’m going to share with you a few ways I’ve found helpful dealing with my self-judgment. For the record, I’m not perfect and I don’t feel 100% confident everyday.

I like to have a down day here and there because how else would I know when I have a great day?  We experience these feelings for a reason, so embrace them all and learn from them.

Be Free of Self-Judgment

The biggest challenge I had was to tear myself away from the mirror. I was spending so much time starring at my features in the mirror and picking myself apart it was destroying my happiness and self-confidence.

To overcome this I would look in the mirror as I needed and move on out. No lingering around to stare and perfect the direction of my eyebrows or cover up that tiny pimple.

If this is one of your bad habits, constantly looking into the mirror and having self-judgment thoughts, then set a timer.  Set a timer for a time it normally takes you to get ready in the morning or whenever you go out.  Get dressed, put your makeup on, brush your hair, and move on.

Another trick you can do to minimize the self-judgment is to force yourself to write all the great things about yourself and your life.  Start paying attention to the good and not the bad.

The grass is never greener, trust me. It’s funny because I was reading a story to my nephew and it was about a chameleon who wanted to be like all the other animals, but by the time he stepped foot in their worlds, he missed his world and wanted to go back to being a chameleon. We all have our own struggles, so stop thinking the girl next door’s life is better.

Another most important factor in minimizing the judgment that goes on in your head is to be aware of it. Are you? It’s important to become aware and slowly work to improve those thoughts.

Cut the judgment short as soon as you realize it’s happening. Change the subject or finish it and then apologize and state something positive right after you’ve discovered you’ve said something negative towards yourself or towards somebody else.

Take these small steps towards having less self-judgment.

* Less time in the mirror – the longer you stare and pick, the more you will find the negative.

* Journal all the good about yourself and your life, see the good vs. the bad.

* Become aware of the judgment that goes on in your head, and comes out of your mouth as well as the judgment that goes on around you from your friends and family.

Get rid of the judgment! Stop judging yourself and stop judging others. Take it one day at a time and  you will become happier, more confident in yourself, and more successful overall.

Feel Beautiful Everyday!

Susan Vernicek – Founder & CEO

Helping Women Get All A’s in the Game of Life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™

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