“Inspire – to stimulate somebody to do something; to encourage somebody to great effort or enthusiasm.”

By Megan Lubin

I nervously wrung my hands together, as a moment of hesitation came over me. The what-ifs were beginning to creep in, voicing their questions and doubts. But then a familiar sound – the cooing and laughter of my son – suddenly snapped me back to reality and the sterile doctor’s office I was in. I looked over at my husband and son, and knew instantly what I had to do. On that day, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I signed my name and elected to have a surgery that would not only change my life, but our life as a family forever.

A year earlier, my son Sutton Matthew was born three months early, weighing a mere two pounds and five ounces. After a complicated pregnancy marred with constant episodes of bleeding, my son could no longer share the womb with a gigantic fibroid tumor that had grown triple its size during my pregnancy. I remember waking up from my emergency c-section and feeling this void where my growing belly had been. In its place: a five inch swollen and red scar that ran from my pubic bone to my navel. I sat up in pain, but I desperately wanted to see my son.

As I was strolled towards the NICU, I remember getting butterflies in my stomach at the thought of finally getting to meet this precious boy that had arrived 14 weeks early. Once I laid eyes on him, I knew he was mine. His thin red skin, thick lips and tiny toes were all I could see, as his preemie diaper swallowed him up and wires and probes tangled all around him. But he was mine and he was fighting. I was so proud that he was my son – a tiny preemie with a huge will to survive and appreciate his life.

After two and a half months in the NICU, Sutton was able to come home right before Christmas 2010. It was one of the most blessed holidays I have ever had. My husband Brad and I were overjoyed at our son’s progress and his sweet disposition. As the months wore on, Sutton grew bigger and stronger, and with each developmental appointment was amazing his doctors with how well he was doing. He was slowly gaining weight and meeting all of his milestones, and after all we had been through, it was encouraging to have such a healthy son. But for me, it wasn’t enough to just enjoy Sutton’s progress. Months of searching for resources yielded little helpful information, and the desire to do more had planted its seed. I knew I wanted to document my experience and share it with others somehow, but didn’t know where to begin. Sutton was such an inspiration to me – everyday teaching me about endless love, grace and the will to survive. It was then that the brain child that would become His Middle Name was born, and within weeks I had started a website without knowing the response it would receive or what it would become.

At the same time I was starting His Middle Name, I was also dealing with the physical ramifications of the fibroid tumor that was left behind in my battered uterus. I had lost so much blood the night Sutton was born that to remove it then would have caused even more blood loss. Not to mention, the primary focus of my emergency c-section was to save the life of the baby inside of me, not to perform a complicated gynecologic surgery. As I shopped around like Goldilocks, looking for the perfect doctor to perform the surgery, my son was growing up beautifully and the innate desire to have another baby was eating away at me. Being one of six, I had always dreamed of having a house teeming with children, so if there was any way I could save my fertility, I wanted to pursue it.

The summer soon turned into fall, and I still hadn’t made a decision. To be honest, I was stalling. I was doing my best to go on as if I wasn’t facing such a huge decision and that I wasn’t in any pain. But I was in pain. My abdomen had swollen to the size of a 20 week pregnancy, but I wasn’t pregnant. The cramps could be felt radiating down my legs and the unexpected bleeding spells continued. Then something happened: simple and divine inspiration. It was subtle, but it came from such a personal place that I couldn’t deny it. The celebration of my son’s first birthday was the culmination of year of miracles for us, and it brought back such strong feelings and sentiments as my husband and I honored Sutton’s first year of life. Remembering how my son had fought through every trial he faced in the NICU to come home healthy and strong was enough to motivate me about my own health.

Then I finally realized that one of the best things I could do for my son was to take care of myself so I could take care of him. To me, Sutton is all things pure and innocent and lovely in this world, and that was worth fighting for. I love him more than anything, and he deserves to have his mommy there. A healthy mommy that is capable of running after him when he’s on the go, and the energy to keep up. By Thanksgiving I had finally chosen a doctor that had the expertise and the gentle bedside manner I so desperately needed. He said he would try his very best to preserve my fertility, but not knowing what he would be facing would make that a game time decision.

I Appreciate the Hard Decision

April 5th marked four months since my surgery. Although I had to have a hysterectomy to remove my tumor and some pelvic reconstruction to repair my bladder, I feel amazing and my energy is soaring through the roof. I can’t believe that such a hard decision, one that forced me to face some hard truths, would enable me to feel so healthy. Because I am feeling healthier than I have in years and am able to do more physically, my confidence as a woman has grown too.

Appreciate and Acceptance

Acceptance has been my lesson and the experience behind it has been humbling. For me, inspiration to fight for my health didn’t come from a larger than life character or an untouchable celebrity. It came from a little boy, one that entered the world three months early, and whose toys I trip over almost daily. In my own search for clarity and health, His Middle Name has expanded its mission from preemie advocacy and parent support to include more education initiatives to help women lead healthier lives and have healthy pregnancies.

I have even created a Facebook page that has fans from all over the world and has become an online repository of information, featured articles, my blog posts and shared family stories. Without my son as the inspiration, and all that he teaches me and my husband about love and life, none of it would have been possible!

1.    What have you accepted in your life that took time physically or mentally?

I have accepted that home, truly, is where the heart is. I always had this dream of raising my family in Arkansas, and I still may some day, but for now the big city is the place we call home and we have created a beautiful life here for ourselves. I now know home is what you make it, not where you are.

2.    What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate that I am a full time working mother. I love my job as a Regulatory Administrator in Gynecologic Oncology, and that I am able to do such important work. I believe it’s so important to give of yourself – to do something bigger than you are as a person. At the end of the day, I am able to come home and feel good about myself as a woman, mother and provider. I appreciate that about myself.

3.    What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

Besides having my precious son, starting His Middle Name is probably the one thing I am most proud of myself for having the courage to do. Sharing a life experience that is so deeply personal and the self reflection it requires can be difficult at times, but I made a promise to all who follow the site that I would be as candid as possible. Not putting a filter on my writing has been very healing and cathartic for me. I especially feel validated in my choice to share my experience when I receive emails of thanks, or when others share their stories with me. But I still have goals in regards to my personal life though: I want to travel more, learn another language, craft and sew more and have another baby someday. But for now, I am enjoying my husband and son more than ever.

4.    What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I can be very hard on myself sometimes, which probably means I can be hard on others as well. As difficult as that is to admit, I am teaching myself every day how to be gentle with myself, forgive myself and others and how to relax and enjoy life. I try not to complicate my life with excess, but that seems to be my challenge in life: distinguishing the difference between needs and wants, and when to give in to the latter.

5.    How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?

… morning coffee with my husband. It’s such a simple pleasure, but it gives us time to chat, play with our son and plan our day. It a great way to get up and go!

Megan Lubin is the founder of His Middle Name, an online resource that provides support, advocacy and education initiatives to parents of preemies and those who have experienced pregnancy complications. She was a collegiate honor student and is a Regulatory Affairs Administrator in Gynecologic Oncology. Megan lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and one year old son.

By Theresa Thaxton

There have been several women over the years who have inspired me to become who I am today and who I will become tomorrow. I hope you find their stories an inspiration as well.

First of all, my lovely grandmother Rodessa Battle was one of the most influential people in my life because she taught me the importance of hard work and dedication in every aspect of my life. She virtually raised a family of 10 children alone after my grandfather passed away from cancer.

Secondly, she went on to attend college at the age of 49 and obtained two degrees an AA and AS in early childhood development, and social human services. Boy did she have inspiration and motivation!

Thirdly, she helped raise me while she was still attending college and I was in high school; encouraging me when my grades were failing by saying these famous words: “If grandma can do it, so can you.” From that point on, my grades improved from C’s and D’s to straight A’s. This turn around in my life allowed me to attend college. Today, I have two bachelor’s degrees, and I graduated with straight A’s as a Suma Cum Laude student. Now I am about to start graduate school and later I plan on obtaining my PhD to become a communications scholar.

Where to Find Inspiration

Another woman who has personally given myself and my life inspiration is teacher and evangelist Joyce Meyer. First of all, like myself she is a woman of God who loves the lord. She is a prime example of how God can take an ordinary person who has many flaws and use them to do great things.

Recently, while watching her on television I was going through a very difficult time in my life and needed some inspiration. Joyce told the story of how she was an unknown minister who had big dreams of traveling around the world and ministering to people in need. Like Joyce I have similar dreams of doing motivational speaking to the masses in this country and around the world. However, being a new author I was feeling discouraged because the sales from my first book were not doing well.

While watching Joyce on television she shared the story of how she began her journey into what is now known as Joyce Myer’s Ministry. When she first began no one showed up to her conferences nor did they purchase her CD’s.  In fact, at one conference the only people who showed up were the five people that she had brought with her. Also, at another conference she only sold one CD and later the person decided to return it. These incidents made her feel like a failure and very discouraged but she did not give up on her dream. She went on to say, “You should never despise the day of small beginnings because faithfulness is what counts.”

Today, she is a well known teacher and evangelist. However, it is nice to know that she started at the bottom like the rest of us, and if she can do it so can I. Her words inspired me to not give up on the days of small beginnings no matter how slow my book sales are, or if no one is inviting me to do speaking engagements because we all have to start somewhere.

Similarly, Oprah Winfrey has had a profound effect on my life because of her drive to help others live their best lives. Although I do not have the social platform or monetary means to help others like she does, I still enjoy encouraging people who come to me for advice or assistance. There have been many occasions where Oprah helped people in need such as in the Katrina disaster that brought me to tears. No, she was not giving these people hand outs she was giving them a hand up in life. I am a firm believer in helping other people fulfill their destiny and purpose in life.

We all need someone to help us fulfill our dreams or even to find our callings and purpose in life. We were all designed to meet the needs of others. There would be no need for doctors if there were no sick people. There would be no need for motivational speakers if everyone were always encouraged and had their inspiration. I am also a firm believer in learning from other people’s lives; wisdom does not come with old age, but it comes when we learn from our mistakes and make positive changes to our lives. This is why Oprah’s television series, called Life Class has been so beneficial to me and providing the inspiration I need.

There have been many stars on this program that have shared their personal secretes of success that have given me the wisdom and encouragement necessary to fulfill my own destiny.

Learn From Others Inspiration

Learning from their inspiring stories can enable me to achieve success a lot sooner in my own life. These are just some of the reasons why Oprah’s role as an African American woman, giver, entrepreneur and inspirational speaker has inspired me to live my best life.

Theresa answers our Identity Five:

 1. What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I have accepted the fact that it took me nine years to get my bachelors degree. However, I had to overcome both physical and mental barriers in order to achieve this goal. In 1985, I flunked out of college and had to endure the shameful feeling of inferiority and inadequacy that plagued my heart and soul. As a result, in 2004, I decided to go back to college to obtain my bachelors degree, but found it exhausting and nearly impossible because I was plagued with one illness after another.

2. What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

One of the things that I appreciate most about myself is the ability to care for hurting people even when I do not know them. Also, the thing that I appreciate most within my life is the ability to see because I started losing my eye sight several years ago, and I could have been completely blind.

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

One of my most rewarding achievements in life is graduating from college with two bachelor’s degrees, while maintaining straight A’s and being a delegate to the 2012 International Scholar Laureate Program. This is an amazing achievement for someone who originally flunked out of college.

Some of my goals for the future are to obtain my masters degree and PhD in communications. This would allow me to become a communications scholar who writes books and travels around the world motivating others to fulfill their life pursuits. Also, I would like to write books that are made into movies.

4. What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

One of the quirks that is unique to my identity is my unusual laugh. All of my life people have imitated my laugh because it is loud and irresistibly funny. However, sometimes in a foreign place filled with unfamiliar people my laugh can bring unwarranted criticism because it warrants everyone’s attention. As a result, this tends to be my not so perfect way.

5. How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my voice. For many years, I have resisted the way I spoke because I felt it was uncharacteristic of someone who was well versed in the English language. However, now that I am older I have come to realize that we all have unique voices that characterize who God has made us just like our DNA signifies the very fabric of who we are as people.

I hope reading this gives you the inspiration you need in your day-to-day life!

By Tonya Vrba

What is love? Never change for someone else. We hear this so often that the mantra is practically tattooed on our brain. Somehow, many of us have become brainwashed into thinking we shouldn’t ever change for a relationship. Not only is this notion wrong, but it can prevent you from appreciating your relationship and finding the love you deserve.

I am not saying you must change in a relationship or that you must be open to change in every way. There are religious convictions or expectations for love we all hold dear. If you want to wait until you are in love or married before you have sex, stick to that. If you don’t want to have any kids, stick to that as well. We all have things which are held dear. Make a list of five to 10 must-haves and be open to all the other possibilities.

There are so many people out there who think they will stay the same throughout a relationship. In refusing to change, we refuse to grow. If there is no growth, then how can you expect to grow together?

Most of us know at least a few people who have obvious defects when it comes to relationships. They may lack maturity and continue to act as they did in high school or college. Others may be horrendously picky and refuse to date anyone who doesn’t meet their ridiculously high standards.

Imagine the one who is immature starts to date someone who is particularly passionate about a few issues. Like all of us, the person seeks to share his interests with the new girl he is dating. What happens when he takes her to view a documentary about the environment or starvation? Will she laugh it off as a bad movie with a predictably plotline or dismiss it because she doesn’t care to understand what the documentary was about? A better reaction would be to listen and learn from both the film and her date. Maybe she might even change and start recycling and donating to homeless shelters. It all really depends on how she interprets changing for someone else.

No one ever has to change for someone, but it is often very healthy to change because of someone else. Perhaps you never wanted to live in a city, but started dating someone who lives in Chicago. After a while, you find that you actually love the city.

We are not meant to sacrifice all we are for a relationship, but at the same time we cannot not expect someone else to sacrifice all they are for us. This world has over seven billion people in it. The idea that there is only one person you can be happy with is a fantasy, in my opinion. Equally mythological is the idea that no matter who you are or what characteristics define you, you will find love.

If you are mean, selfish, insecure, picky or desperate, the chances you will find love are slim. Do you deserve love? Of course, we all do. Instead of looking for someone who will put up with you, look for someone who will make you want to be a better person. This may mean falling in love with someone who isn’t perfectly fit or who hates video games. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Love others the way you want to be loved. Most importantly, keep your heart open to all the beautiful possibilities this world has to offer and appreciate all the ways you change and grow with whomever you love.

Tonya Vrba is a passionate writer. Her work has been published in newspapers and blogs. She writes frequently about health, career and dating issues. Tonya currently writes with The Online Dating Site Blog. Learn more about her work at her personal website.

By Susan Vernicek

Do you appreciate your friends? It’s easy to take our friends for granted because we see them often or assume they just know we love them like we love our family.  I’m guilty, but I like to remind my friends how much I love them and appreciate them by random emails, phone calls or simply taking on a project to show them.  For instance, this past Easter, I wanted to do something different.  I’m usually in charge of bringing the alcohol, but I wanted to bake an Easter cake AND at the same time we can use it as a birthday cake for our dear friend.

Our friend Joann, is an amazing cake designer so we thought it’d be funny for me, the one who doesn’t bake, attempt to do a 3D cake for Easter and her birthday.

Knowing Joann likes Cadbury Eggs, by Kraft® (I also LOVE them) I thought it would be easy to create a 3D Easter cake.  So that was my theme, a Cadbury Egg Easter Cake/Birthday Cake. Because it was my first baking experience, I decided to take photos showing my experience.  I hope you enjoy and think of ways to use your creativity for occasions like these.

Oil fixed, Coffee in hands, and finally at Walmart

I knew heading to Walmart in the Poconos, I had to get there early. It’s always jam packed and lines are forever long so I started my day early. Not even 3 minutes from my house I had to pull over.  Yea, my car was out of oil! Yikes! I am always so good with my oil changes, but I guess I waited too long this time. The good news was that I had oil in my car from the last oil change. Phew, back on track to Walmart.

I had one more stop and that was for my DD coffee! I wanted to be prepared for the hectic crowd and coffee always calms me. Projects are all about making it an enjoyable experience. I try to make the most of everything! I had my music blasting, windows opened and of singing and dancing!

So I finally got to Walmart and as soon as I walked in, I was distracted by the colorful isle of rainbow cups, ha-ha. You’d know this if you followed me on Pinterest and saw my dream boards for both my 2013 wedding and my love for rainbows board. I always get sucked into shopping at Walmart! Once I got back on track, it was quick.

I realized once I picked up the cake mix, there wasn't much to this baking. They make it easy! Eggs, Water, Veg Oil, and then the Cadbury Eggs

So, I realized that Duncan Hines® makes baking a cake pretty simple. Three ingredients: Water, Vegetable Oil, and Eggs. Awesome! I can do this! I whipped it all up, placed it in the pan and then enjoyed the leftover mix! Which, is my favorite part….so freaking good! I will be eager to bake more often to enjoy the leftovers!

The best part is licking the leftover mix!

After it was done, it was time to cut the cake into an egg shape. I know it looks like a walnut shape, but it’s supposed to be an egg.  Not bad for my first time. I was so anxious you’ll see that I had trouble with the icing.

This is the most fattening cake ever!

After a total of about 3 hours…Voila!  My first cake, my first 3D cake, and my last unhealthy cake.

This is really, really unhealthy, but it was so much fun to make for my friends Easter party and for our dear friends birthday cake!  They all loved it and I can’t wait to bake a cake again!

So tell me, what has been your most creative project and how do you show your appreciation?

By Alice McCall

In ‘Harnessing Your Inner Voice’ I shared how to go to your heart for wisdom and guidance.  I hope that those ideas and exercises are helping you cultivate your inner voice – your unique brand of wisdom.  Now that you are receiving personal guidance from your inner voice, what do you do with it?  I hope this follow-up article helps you recognize the importance of trusting and listening to any inner wisdom that you glean.

It can be difficult to act on the information that is received from your inner voice.  Why does it seem so hard to follow your heart, your authentic perspective?

One reason: The whole world lives primarily from their mind – focusing on constant over analysis, or always needing to assess which choice is good or bad.  When we courageously step out to follow our inner voice against ‘rational reasoning,’ opposition from friends and family is common, because they are viewing our choices from a place of logical assessment.  The decisions that our inner voice may guide us to make are not always the most logical ones.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007, I received guidance from my inner voice to step outside of a traditional medical path and to use my own practice of cellular level healing to heal myself.  Following this guidance, I successfully overcame my challenging diagnosis.  During my self-healing many of my friends and family felt it was necessary to continually tell me how I was wrong, going as far as planning an intervention.  Although well intentioned, they were pumping fear into me on a regular basis.

It is hard to move ahead with your inspired plans when such strong opposition comes from loved ones.  Just as it takes practice to listen to our inner voice, it also takes practice to trust that our received inner wisdom is true.  Choices we make using our innermost guidance always seem to work out, even when it may seem unlikely or unconventional.  My self-healing path with breast cancer is no exception.  My healing was successful and remains solid after more than four years!  If you decide to follow your inner voice’s guidance, be prepared for well-meaning opposition from those around you.

When stepping to the beat of your inner drummer, opposition will also present itself from your habitual way-of-being.  This inner opposition originates from your ego, manifesting as a fear, worry, or doubt.  It is best to courageously acknowledge that those fears exist and then move forward in spite of them.  With practice this becomes easier to accomplish, especially as you experience the positive results from trusting and following your inner guidance.  Not only will it always work out, but the results are usually better than what you could have envisioned!

Try this process for non-critical decisions a few times, to experience the ease and perfection of trusting of your inner guidance.  As you become accustomed to the process and the gifts it yields, it is easier to apply it to big life decisions without fear.

Why is it still challenging to follow your inner voice?  You are courageously listening to and following your inner guidance.  You are even connecting with your inner compass regularly, believing in the benefits of this new way of life.  What could be hindering the process?

When you make a decision based on inner wisdom, it is paramount to trust the process as it unfolds.  This means embracing and trusting the process and the unknowns that it symbolizes in your life.  Once you become comfortable allowing the process to unfold, comfortable with the unknown, the process has room to rapidly expand without fear intervening.

When fear is present, it is impossible to fully trust and surrender to the unknown.  It is common to be comfortable operating from a place of fear; the fear of not being good enough, the fear of looking foolish, the fear of not being successful, the fear of making the wrong choice, or the fear of trying something new.  Those fears have to be challenged before authentic trust can exist within you.

We each have our personal triggers to recognize and overcome as we challenge the fear in our lives.  For me, it can still creep in when I am guided to step out and follow my inner voice when it goes against all logic.  My challenge is to get out of my own way and not allow any fears, doubts, or worries that were created by my logical mind to interfere with the course set by my innermost guidance.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.” – Mark Twain.

What keeps us from throwing off the bowlines?  Usually it is the fear of the unknown.  We think that the unknown isn’t safe, so we stick with what we know, even when we don’t feel fulfilled in life.

If your life appears to be a safe harbor even if you are unhappy or not fulfilled, throw off the fears and worries that are keeping you tied down.  Experience the freedom and joy that comes with trusting the guidance from your inner voice.  Following that guidance will lead you to the best choice possible for you, at this time in your life.

Alice McCall is a Cellular Level Healing Consultant who helps clients remove unwanted patterns, transform health issues, and connect with their heart and soul via phone sessions.  McCall’s book Wellness Wisdom and meditation CDs are available at www.HealingPath.info and Amazon.com.

1. Time is my friend

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: You know those self help books that say plan out your 1, 5 and 10 year goals? Ha! Let’s start with two weeks, please. No need to get overwhelmed.
In my early twenties I feel behind. Here I am, living with my parents; I can’t keep a job, no serious relationship – ever and no mini me running around. I complain to my married mommy friends and I get: “I love my life but I don’t have the same freedom as you” or "don't rush it".

Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for life to start but really, life is happening, right now. I'm in my twenties; I have time to try so many new jobs, to find my life partner and to be responsible for only myself. As a twenty something, time is my friend. I'm not going to cage it up, I'm going to play, experience life and find my own identity.

Thanks to: Courtney Baker of Let It Out.

2. PR Girl, Owner of AIM

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: Time and the Russian language are the top two things I’ve taken for granted in my twenties. I moved to the states in 1995 and since have forgotten how to communicate properly. I’ve been caught up with my "American" life so much that I do not find the time to practice my native language. Although I understand it when spoke to, it becomes embarrassing when I can't express my thoughts or tell a story to my Russian relatives. On the other hand, the thing I appreciate most in my twenties is the journey it took for me to get to where I’ am today. After graduating, I struggled to find work leading me to travel, meet and network with interesting people and eventually landing a job I love. Recently, I started my own PR business called Anastasiya’s image Management.

Thanks to: Anastasiya Kuzmina of Anastasiya's Image Management.

3. Making a Big Ol' Mess

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: In my twenties, one thing’s for sure: I've made some messes. I’ve found myself in some, “How the hell did I get myself into this one?” kinds of situations. So I’ve decided the twenties are for taking risks and, inevitably, screwing up—it’s all about trial and error. And that’s a GOOD thing! How else are we supposed to figure out how to be real “adults”? (BTW, when does that word “adult” officially apply to me, anyway?) I think we twenty-somethings can take for granted the opportunity to screw up and still have plenty of time to sort it all out. It’s when we do take risks, step out of our comfort zones, follow our hearts and do the thing that might make others think we’re crazy, that we can learn from our messes and turn them into gifts. So go ahead: Make a MESS!

Thanks to: Jessica Libbey of Ignite Your Inner Freedom.

4. You've got plenty of time...

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: I take my youth for granted. I sometimes get so busy thinking "I should be here," "I should be making this much money", "I should be making more money from a side business" that I forget how young I actually am. I've got plenty of time and I forget rather frequently. Instead of just enjoying my twenties I waste a lot of time worrying.

As for things I appreciate, definitely my health, the fact that my job and yoga studio are 5 minutes from my house, and home cooked food (college meal plans are gross).

Thanks to: Amanda Abella of Grad Meets World.

5. Live now + save for the future

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: Being in my 20s, I appreciate the financial security of providing only for myself and not needing to take care of others during this stage of my life. Still, I make smart money decisions and get inspiration and advice from my employer, BeFrugal.com, on how to spend smarter and save money. I’ve learned that simple steps like making purchases online, always using a promo code and earning free cash back can add up without requiring deprivation.

Thanks to: Jen Dorman of BeFrugal.com.

6. Personal Trainer : "Twenties"

It's the Little Things: Embracing my 20's: What I Appreciate About My Twenties:
I appreciate my youth as a time to make my own mistakes and learn from them. This is a time to be a little selfish and focus on myself. When problems come up, I know for the most part I really just have to take myself into consideration - not myself and someone else.

What I Take For Granted at Times:

Sometimes I think I take my friends of granted. I would love to spend more time with them, but I know now is a time to work on me.

Thanks to: William Moore of Will Get You Fit.

Here are a few more from women in their twenties!

I own and operate my own t-shirt brand, so I think that doing that has made me more aware of things than I would have been at this age had I been working a regular job. Having to plan retirement and savings and insurance and all of those things myself forces me to think about them. I don’t think that I would think about those things without that. I do greatly appreciate the ability to take more risk. As I move closer to my 30′s I see how certain risks become greater in importance when the added responsibilities that exist in your 30′s come into play. So I’m grateful for this time to take risks and learn the hard way. I think what I took for granted the most in my earlier 20′s was the importance of social networking. I always thought I was highly motivated and work minded so it only made sense to ignore the social activities and focus on my work. But now I realize that those social activities create bonds that you can’t recreate through Facebook or anything of that kind, it’s a lot tougher the older you get to create those true bonds. - Adrien Edwards, 28

Hi, I’m a 22 year old female recent college grad. I have never appreciate my parents more than I do now, after meeting various friends’ parents over the years and hearing stories about other people’s childhoods. I have so much appreciation for everything my parents have done for me, including raising me in a loving, safe, alcohol free environment and paying for my education. I also really appreciate all my high school friends who I am still very close with and my college friends. I really value the time I
spend with them since I don’t get to see them as much now that we are all working or continuing our education.

I also appreciate that I’m not in school right now.Sometimes I’ll just think to myself, This is so great that I’m not working on a paper right now. I think I take for granted how privileged I am and on days when I start feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason, I remind myself that I am debt free, healthy, living at my loving parents’ house rent free and a train ride away from New York City. – Anonymous

I am 22 years old and things I take for granted:

Having a good job: Not every person who gets out of college has a job available, I first realized I was taking it for granted when I ran into a friend from college who was working at the restaurant who said she was laid off after only 3 months because of the company’s financial situation.
My family and Friends: As I’m getting older I’m realizing people truly don’t live forever. I still have great family and friends to support me and I don’t think I realize that as much as I should .
My health: So -far-so-good. I believe I’m in great health (it’s what my doctor says) and I think I take it for granted . It’s probably one of the biggest blessings a person can have and I constantly overlook it.
Nice Weather! This one I’m starting to appreciate more and more since I’ve been hiking and taking walks outdoors.
Little things I appreciate:
The Kindle! I love reading, since I’m on a tight budget, the kindle allows me to buy books cheaper.
My Car (97′ Saab): After almost 200,000 miles and 15 years it’s still going strong (*knock on wood).
Disposable dental floss picks
TJ MAXX: Again, I’m on a tight budget, but I still like nice things. Win-Win
-Candice Varetoni

I’m 27, live in Boston and I’m happy to answer a few questions about my
appreciation, etc. for life’s elements during this stage/age of life.

I don’t take anything for granted; I enjoy life to the fullest, take care of
my health and invest in my future.

I appreciate the financial security of providing only for myself and not
needing to take care of others during this stage of my life.

Still, I make smart money decisions and get inspiration and advice from my
employer, BeFrugal.com, on how to spend smarter and save money.
- Anonymous

This is an interesting topic.  Not sure how you feel about tattoos, but I LOVE THEM. I see them as a form of art and character to our bodies. Its a way people express themselves, share stories, honor others, and there are many other reasons why people get tattoos.

We asked our experts, readers, fans, and followers how they perceive tattoos and if tattoos create part of our identity’s?

Or is it just ink? Please feel free to add your comments below!

By Marlene

You’ve no doubt heard it said that the way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans. From age 18 on, I planned to find a husband and raise a family. Even though I went to college to become a teacher, I always figured I would be pregnant a few years after teaching and would happily leave the classroom for the nursery.

God must have chuckled indeed over what He had in store for me–a lifetime of teaching other people’s children and never having one of my own. He never ever saw fit to send me a husband….although he sent a few not-so-promising specimens my way.

Over the years, 
I’ve managed to accept my singleness. Yes, there are gentle tugs at my heart whenever I see a woman holding her child in her arms. And yes, I look with envy upon happily married couples. But, I’ve learned to focus on what I have, rather than what I don’t have.

I console myself with examples of friends whose marriages didn’t work out, or acquaintances who give birth to children with desperate needs. Not every family is a perfect family and many require sacrifices I’m not sure I would be capable of making.

Instead, I’ve focused my energies on developing my business, the Center for Professional Development (recently sold to a colleague). It has provided me with many opportunities to travel, to meet interesting people, and to live comfortably.

My work led to book-writing. So far, I’ve written 60 and I’m still going strong. I realize I probably could not have had the career I’ve enjoyed if I had taken time to raise a family. Life, after all, is essentially a trade-off.

Admittedly, I sometimes feel a longing for companionship from the opposite sex (to say nothing of the last word in that prepositional phrase), but I try to remember how fortunate I am to have sisters, a brother, and very good friends. While I actually prefer being 
alone most of the time, I satisfy my social needs by entertaining. I like “clustered” dinner parties, and typically invite a cluster of people who have similar interests.

To illustrate, I recently held a “felini-tea,” at which tea and crumpets /scones/cucumber sandwiches were served. Every guest was asked to bring some way to introduce her feline to the rest of us cat-lovers. There were poems, and paintings, and stories. One woman actually had a PowerPoint presentation!

Another party was a “hospitali-tea.” Guests came with stories of being treated very hospitably at some point in their lives. (One told of a time that she arrived late at a friend’s house but went in, and slept on the couch, as planned. In the morning, she was awakened by a strange man who wanted to know what she was doing there. After learning she had entered the wrong house, he called the intended-hostess and assured her, “Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Come over. I’ll cook you both breakfast!”)

I no longer tell God my plans but I do thank Him for the unplanned joys of my life.

I love my husband.  He makes me laugh and smile and always has my back. -Paige, Massachusetts

I love the sound of laughter…specifically that of a child. -Brenda, New Jersey

I love the bond of a great friendship! - Susan

I love the smell of the Christmas tree and decorating it with my children. -Laurie

I love dancing with my daughter to Christmas carols. -Catherine

I love the first snowfall. Well, I love the first snowfall in an appropriate month. -Rose

I love when my children come home from college and we can spend time as a family. We have family dinners and outings, and it makes me appreciate the time we get to spend together. -Carol

By Brenda

I have always said that I can move to any part of the world and survive. Standing still, genuinely accepting my past, appreciating my present and pushing through fear wasn’t as easy. Running (physically and/or emotionally) to a new identity that was accepted by others was so much easier. Life slowly turned around for the better when I began to embrace all of me. I realized that I would never have the life I truly deserve to live if I didn’t embrace and change my story. Embracing my true self and changing the story was by far the most liberating thing I have done for myself.

I have always been “different” from everyone I knew (family, friends, co-workers, and fellow students). I was the “blacksheep” and ashamed of being different. As an African-American from New York City, I was expected to fit in a certain box. Every time I chose to kick open the walls of that box and do the unexpected, I was made fun of for choosing to live on my own terms.

From elementary school through my twenties, I compromised portions of myself to get along with others. Compromising and living a lie resulted in a decade of feeding my feelings, dressing my shame in nice clothes, drowning my guilt with red wine and engaging in unhealthy relationships.

It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I slowly began to embrace every part of me. I embraced the 9-year-old little girl that enjoyed needlepoint, the 13-year-old that read every book she could get her hands on about nutrition and ate all of her vegetables, the 23-year-old woman that fell in love with nature, and the 33-year-old woman that loves cycling, gardening and visiting farms. I accepted that I will always be different and that is okay.

I am currently embracing the relationships that ended amicably, the one night stands, the toxic mistakes and life as a single woman. According to some, this 30-something year old woman is past her prime, should adopt a few cats and prepare for life as a spinster. Just because I am over 30 and single, does not mean that opportunity for love has passed me by. By embracing my true self, I know “love” will come my way at the right time.

Embracing these aspects of my life has provided me with peace. No longer am I running away from my failures, shame, guilt and fears. No longer will I hide sections of my story in a dusty file cabinet and constantly wonder “I hope ____ doesn’t find out.” I truly believe every negative situation occurred for a reason. I can sit at home and feel ashamed or I can move forward, turn the shame and guilt into gifts and make a difference in my community by helping women embrace their stories. I chose the latter.

See how Brenda answered our Identity Five Questions:

What have you accepted within yourself and/or within your life? Is there anything you are working on accepting?

I accept that there will never be a perfect time. If I wait for perfection, nothing will get done.

What do you appreciate about yourself or your life?

I appreciate my freedom.

What have you achieved, or what are you working to achieve personally, physically, or mentally?

I launched a health coaching business that focuses on providing strategies to professionals that are struggling to survive cubicle life. I had to push through fears and mental blocks that were holding me back; I have grown tremendously since becoming an entrepreneur.

What is your no-so-perfect way? We are all unique with quirks and imperfections, so why not flaunt them and embrace them!

I use spaghetti sauce jars as drinking glasses. It’s the only way I am sure to get the water I need for the day.

How would you complete this sentence, “I Love My…” This has to be about you, physically or mentally.

I love my eyes. They are the windows to my soul.

Brenda Coleman is a health and wellness coach that specializes in helping professionals struggling to survive cubicle life take back their health and live the life they truly want. She is a graduate of Syracuse University and attended the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. In addition to coaching individuals via her coaching practice, she is a volunteer nutrition instructor and coach with a unit of Community Lodgings, Inc. (located in the Alexandria, VA) that helps women transition out of homelessness. You can learn more about Brenda at www.brendarcoleman.com.