We all know the holidays can be fraught with craziness – presents to buy, people to see, holiday parties, and of course, family who push your buttons, or who get you a little “unglued.” On top of all that, dealing with work, kids, partners, travel, planning, and well, life. It’s so easy to get swept up into the craziness.
How would it feel to be able to “go with the flow” and connect with the fun and joy of the season – and not get pulled into the frantic, frenetic fast lane?
It’s not as hard as it sounds. It just takes practice and awareness. Whenever life hands you something that’s tough to deal with, just ask yourself, “What’s perfect?”
I’m not trying to go all Pollyanna on you, I just want to give you a tool. I know we all have our moments. But isn’t the idea to fill your life with more positive moments, and fewer moments that make you crazy?
What am I talking about? I’m talking about “more life.” You see, in life, everything is either growing or dying – it’s simply inherent in anything and anyone that is alive. If you look at a forest, you find little saplings struggling to reach the sunlight under a canopy of trees, as well as trees that are so old or inhabited by animals and insects that they are decaying, and working on decomposing. Even this dying phase of the tree contributes to “more life” by becoming part of the soil and feeding things all around it. This is all part of the “more life” universal law. This shows the perfection in nature.
What does that have to do with the holidays? Because following this universal law of “more life” means that every situation has an opportunity for growth within it. When our buttons get pushed, a promotion doesn’t come, or a relationship ends, you have an opportunity to see where “more life” can be found inside that disappointment. There is something perfect about this situation – and you can find it.
Napoleon Hill said that often opportunities come disguised as misfortunes. Most of us have had the experience of wanting something so badly that when it didn’t come through, we were a little crushed – only to discover later on that an opportunity for more growth, more money, a better relationship showed up for us.
So how do you apply the “What’s perfect” outlook to the holidays? First, it’s about the pause. This is key. When you feel crazy-busy, pressured and anxious about all you have to do, the solution is to literally stop and ask yourself what in this moment is perfect? If you can’t find it, dig.
Let me give you an example:
Your sister refuses to collaborate on the family dinner. Again. She insists on doing it at her house, but it’s so far away for you, and you were really looking forward to having it at your parents’ home. So, as we all have the gift of choice, you have several options. You can say no. How does that make you feel? “NO?” Are you unused to saying no to someone who asks something of you? Is this an opportunity to hold steady in your boundaries? To be okay no matter what happens? Is it an opportunity to take a stand with someone who is habitually unreasonable and selfish – and who ultimately causes you a lot of heartache because you don’t?
See, when you care more about what someone thinks of you than about what is best for you, you will always compromise on your values, your boundaries, your time, and your feelings. You can say no and still be a loving individual! Is this that perfect opportunity to practice that?
OR, is this an opportunity for you to give a little, when normally you don’t? How does that feel? Generous? Uncomfortable, but really okay? You have the opportunity to look at every situation as objectively as possible, and then, look at your reaction to what is happening. The combination creates your ability to look at the circumstance and see that life is always going to provide you with the opportunity for “more life.” And “more life” is perfect, just like in nature. We just don’t always see it that way when we get annoyed, hurt, or confused.
How can you bring the concept of “more life” into your holidays? See everything as perfect. Then, make choices.
I’d love to hear about your holiday “buttons!” What gets pushed at this time of year? Please leave a comment ~ there’s nothing better than learning from others’ honest sharing. You’ll be helping people who can learn from your experiences! Also, please share this on Facebook and Twitter to help folks out there who might be feeling daunted by the potential hazards of the holidays. Help them find the perfection in the season!
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the above article. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.
1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?
I accepted that I am enough. Always. I may not always make the perfect or ideal choice, but I realize that we are all put here on this planet with equal value and unique gifts.
2. What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?
I appreciate my gifts! I realized that my unique ability is to help women find their purpose, and often, to create a business that represents who they are and their passions. For years, I thought I “sucked at business.” I finally realized that I may not be a CPA, but I have amazing abilities to create businesses! I am so grateful that I can own that.
3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?
I came from a family where my sister and I were the first to go to college. I didn’t have the expectation of going because while I was fairly driven, I was directionless! In terms of rewarding achievements, putting myself through college at age 21 in 3 and a half years was huge. I did it while working 5 jobs and I graduated summa cum laude. Then, I did a 4-year graduate school program with 2 little girls. Definitely challenging. Definitely rewarding. In fact, perfect.
One of my current goals is to create a foundation to bring the work I do with women into schools to help young women and girls develop a strong sense of confidence and self-esteem. I want to give them the tools they need to make empowered choices in their lives. Better to start at their age than wait till life creates limiting beliefs in them that will hold them back. The ripple effect of such an initiative with young women will be huge.
4. We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth—we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are—your Identity?
I am incredibly passionate about what I do, about living life, but I can be disorganized and am slightly dyslexic and easily distracted when left to my own devices (though honestly, never with a client – which is interesting!). I’ve struggled with this since I was a kid. However, I think because I have such a highly attuned intuition, this is simply the price I have to pay. I “see” life in a way that makes me so very good at what I do and very good at parenting. However, I could use a full-time assistant to keep me organized!
5. “I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!) Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?”
I love my life. Seriously. I have so much to appreciate every day – my children, my husband, my friends, my clients, my career, my garden, my dogs — and still there’s so much I want to experience, share, do, see, that I want to live to be 137. I didn’t used to say I love my life, but I certainly do now!