From the Editor So You're a Parent?

I’m not a Bad Mom… I’m a Badass Mom!

I'm Not a Bad Mom, I'm a Badass Mom
Susan Vernicek
Written by Susan Vernicek

This article isn’t about the Bad Moms movie, but instead how the movie has inspired me to share and celebrate my badass mom skills.

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EEEK, I’m dying to see the movie Bad Moms because I can already relate to the trailer and now want to throw a “Moms-only” party. However, this article isn’t about the movie, but instead how the movie has inspired me to share and celebrate my badass mom skills. Yes, I’m owning that, and I give you permission to do the same.

When was the last time you reflected on what an awesome job you’re doing being a mom? I bet you spend more time feeling guilty and believing you’re a bad mom relatively often, right?

I found several statistics on how we moms allow guilt to creep into our lives in this NY TIMES article… For example:

•51 percent of working mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children:

We need to get over this already and begin focusing on the time that we do get to spend with our children. Create the goal to make the time you do have the best time and the most fun—in other words, be present. I feel that I’m always hearing, “I want and I need more time” and it’s not only with children. This can center on many other tasks or circumstances in life. Try to make a priority list every day of what you want most to accomplish. Do your best throughout the day and later, don’t beat yourself up over it.

Seriously, almost all of us work and NONE of us can compare our family situations with the next person’s. You may have more spare time in the summer if you are a teacher, or maybe you’re a coach and not available during a particular season, but have more time during the other months. Or maybe your work is 4 days on and 4 days off.

Every day I aim for these:
Make sure my kids laugh hysterically, even if it’s just by tickling them.
Be sure to feed myself and my family something super healthy.
Be sure to drink water and ensure that my kids do too.
Indulge myself in something I enjoy.
Kiss my husband and children so much that I’m like the annoying mom from The Goldbergs.
Make sure I say “I love you” multiple times a day.

It’s that simple. Those are the most important elements in life, right? Not money, not bills, not material things-but rather laughter, love, affection, respect and trying one’s best.

•55 percent of working mothers feel guilt about the untidiness of their house

Okay, I can totally relate to this because I do have a slight case of OCD. However, I’ve really come a long way over that during the past two years raising twins. What I do know is: I strive to clean 1 room a day and I don’t berate myself if I don’t necessarily accomplish that. For the most part, thinking this way and implementing this 1 room a day approach has had a tremendous impact on my family and stress levels because I”m not obsessed and trying to clean the entire house every day.

•49 percent of working mothers and 47 percent of stay-at-home-mothers agreed with the statement, “I am my worst critic”

STOP! Switch the mindset to “I am a badass mom and my family is lucky to have me.” Stop acknowledging that “I am my worst critic. ” There is no need to judge ourselves because there are plenty of other people doing that for us.

So, we need to step into our confidence, own our badass mom rolls and continue to do our best and leave the judging to the rest (without letting that effect us either, since this is also in our control).

I’ve gathered some quotes/statements from other Badass Moms and I hope they inspire you to recognize how badass you are!

“I’m a badass mom because I will do anything in my power to keep my children safe and happy and if I have to hurt someone doing that, so be it.” – Evelyn Rosas

“I’m a bad ass mom because I’m teaching my kids that failure only happens when you’re too afraid to try, that their dreams deserve a chance and that the only opinion that matters is their own opinion of themselves. I’m teaching them that every step towards faith and away from fear is a step in the right direction. I’m teaching them that the only way to truly love others is to love yourself first and how being in love with yourself and content with who you are is the most freeing feeling in the world. I’m creating an army of people who won’t wait for permission to be amazing – who will love openly & readily and never fear what’s next because they know they are enough & the universe and their mom will always have their back. That’s why I’m a bad ass mom.” 😉 – Bridget Irvy

“I’m a badass mom because I’ve taught my kids how to start businesses and what it takes. They love helping me label my creams, come up with new scents and update the website. And I love that my son sees me speak from the stage about women and money, and our right to Redefine Success as we see fit. I’m raising my kids who believe the sky’s the limit and who know that women are an important part of the business world. I love that.” – Sarah Walton

“I’m a BADASS mom because I taught my kids to be fearless by re-inventing myself and starting a whole new career! I’m a BADASS mom because I chose what was best for them: I raised them to be strong and independent – even when that independence might (and did) lead them far away.” ❤ – Stephanie Dalfonzo

“I’m a badass mom because I took a leap and started my own business; I’m not always home for dinner or bedtime. I plan events so I am helping people celebrate. But my kids are clean, fed, loved, and we celebrate each success we have in a special way! I am showing my body a woman can be her own boss and have a happy family! Let’s not forget the glass of wine accompanying me on my journey—LOL” – Anita Belle

“When my first son was born, I tried to do everything ‘right’ and I was miserable. I loved my son more than anything, but I missed ‘me.’ I missed dressing up and wearing heels and going out with girlfriends. When my second son was born, I made the decision that I couldn’t lose myself in motherhood. I need to work, feel productive and enjoy a social life outside of my home, in order to fully enjoy being a mom. It’s not easy or without the guilt, but everyone is happier for it.” – Vanessa Coppes

“Badass Moms love unconditionally with all their heart. Through happiness and fears and anger and tears; they do whatever is best for their children no matter what anyone else thinks. I’m a badass mom because of this and I now you are too.” – Jodi Ciampa

“I am a bad ass Mom because I am showing my three sons how to live your life with passion and purpose. Sure, the house gets messy and dinner is not always home made, but they have a mom who is LIT UP doing what she loves. That to me is the most inspirational lesson” -Mallika Malhortra

End the guilt. You’re not a bad mom. You’re badass mom, along with me!

Here are a few reasons why I’m a Badass Mom and I’m just blurting stuff out and being as authentic as I can—I’m owning me…

Party: I’m always up for a party. As long as I have a babysitter, I’m all in. I have NO shame or guilt when leaving my kids to go have fun with friends for a night. Being able to get out and dance, drink, laugh, etc. revitalizes my soul.
Dance party with my kids: I party with my kids on a weekly basis by dancing to videos and throughout the house while jumping on the couches and beds.
I know how to balance my children’s diet while spoiling them with sweets. Sometimes they get pancakes for dinner and sometimes they get cookies for breakfast.
I still wear lingerie and still have fun with my husband, It’s not all about the kids ALL the time.
I give 100% every day and my goals for each day are to laugh, eat healthy, indulge, give lots of hugs and kisses to my twins and my husband.
I practice being present and mindful—consciously living and parenting the best I can.
I run my own business while being a wife, raising twins and taking care of our home.
I have a great sense of humor–a sometimes inappropriate kind of humor to many people, except my best friend and my brother-in-law.
I’m not afraid, nor feel guilty, when I have to travel for work or have plans that don’t involve my husband or kids. It’s important for us to have our own space, as well as our quality time together.
I love vodka.
I love sex and never make excuses not to have it because of the kids. I’m a better, more relaxed mom for it. (Sorry Mom) heeehee
I love to love and show that love.
I’m teaching my kids healthy eating, fitness, playing, humor, manners, respect and to love.

I’m not a bad mom, I’m a badass mom.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the above article. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?

When it comes to being a Mother, I’ve accepted and embraced my imperfections.  When I need help, I ask. However, I usually just go my own pace, do what I think it best and as a Mom, I away ask myself “what can go wrong, what’s the safest decision, etc.) 

2. What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?

I appreciate my husband in this motherhood journey.

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?

So far being a Motherhood and keeping my kids happy, healthy and safe.

4. We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth—we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are—your Identity?

Ha! Everything in Motherhood is perfectly imperfect.  🙂

5. “I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!) Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my Motherhood and badass style!

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About the author

Susan Vernicek

Susan Vernicek

Facts about Susan Vernicek:
• She’s happily married and a mother of twins.

• She’s tried almost every fad diet back in her quick-fix days, admits at age 34 it’s a struggle to work hard on overall balance and is focused on not giving into the unhealthy fads we see daily.

• She’s all natural with natural blonde hair, uneven breasts, a bigger nose, and full of curves that she learns to appreciate more and more each day.

• She had a career where part of her job was staring at herself 40 hours a week manipulating her very own face as well as others.

• She’s the youngest of 7, ranging from 30-50+, an Aunt, Great Aunt and even younger than some of her nieces and nephews!

• She’s traveled and seen over 8 countries and spent a summer in London finding her passion and embracing life.

• She created S&J Identity, Inc. AKA Identity Magazine, having no business background and at the age of 25.