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Gain the Confidence to Conquer the Dating Game

How to Date
Written by Christina Moore

Ladies, there is no reason to sell yourself short, no matter how old you are or how long you have been alone. Some women stay single longer so that they can focus on their careers, then ten years later believe that their chance at finding true love is gone. It isn’t, and it’s time to find the confidence to feel good about yourself and the dating game.

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The dating games seems to become more challenging each year and all these online dating sites were meant to make dating a little easier, but not so much. Now there is possible rejection just from not getting a “poke” or a “viewed” within these online programs. So how does a woman gain the confidence in this centuries dating game?


The other day I was shopping and I saw a middle-aged couple walking hand in hand. It was very sweet seeing the way that they clearly connected with each other. I, like others, made the initial assumption that this couple had years of experience together, yet were still clearly laughing and smiling like newlyweds. In fact, it wasn’t until I saw another woman in her late 30’s watching them with obvious loneliness in her eyes that I even considered the possibility that the relationship could actually be budding.

What interested me most about the interaction was not the plausibility of their level of commitment, but the fact that another woman was clearly lost in the world on her own. More than likely, she was playing the dating game; clearly, it was not going well for her. The lack of confidence was obvious with just a glance.

Ladies, there is no reason to sell yourself short, no matter how old you are or how long you have been alone. Some women stay single longer so that they can focus on their careers, then ten years later believe that their chance at finding true love is gone. It isn’t, and it’s time to find the confidence to feel good about yourself and the dating game. There are hundreds of articles that offer dating tips to women.

What Men Want

It isn’t a big secret. There are magazines and books in droves where men speak out to tell women what turns them on, and what doesn’t, when dating. Here’s a good place to start:

  1. Be confident. Let’s throw this one out there right away, because it’s hard for women to feel confident. Men want women who are happy to be around them, but don’t make them the center of their universe. Be confident enough with who you are to just be yourself. Confidence and interdependence are a turn on.
  2. Freedom. In the early stages of dating, men do not want women to assume that they are exclusive. There is a chance that they are dating other people, looking for the right person just like you are. Instead of smothering them with attention and acting jealous when they go on a date with someone else, give them the space they need to find the right person. That space could make you a top contender.
  3. Patience. If it takes time for him to call or text you after the first date, be patient about it. Men operate differently than women, and they get busy just like we do. When he is ready, he will contact you. If he doesn’t, you can’t force yourself on him. Just leave him be.

Get His Attention

Getting the attention of the right guy can be the difference between finding your soul mate and not. For some women, this is easy. For others, we have to work harder. Instead of troubleshooting, look online dating tips and try these steps to help:

  1. Be yourself. This isn’t too different from being confident, but if you want to attract a man in the first place, you have to be you when you put yourself out there. People are attracted to like-minded individuals. If you say you like football, but secretly despise all sports, it will only come back to haunt you later when he surprises you with tickets to a pro game. Don’t sugar-coat your likes and dislikes.
  2. Eat and drink smart. Men have confessed that it is a turn-off if a woman drinks more than two drinks on the first couple of dates. They have also admitted that they are less likely to find a woman appealing if she orders light. Don’t pig out on the date, but don’t be afraid to order a steak either.
  3. Advertise. You can’t expect to find your true love if you aren’t putting yourself out there. You have to be active and social, and try online services to advertise yourself. More and more people are finding their soul mate with online dating services. In fact, using online services can help you increase your likelihood of success. There are others out there who, like you, have been playing the dating game and are tired of finding the wrong match. These services can actually help match you to a like-minded mate.

If you are in need of help finding ways to put yourself out there, you can find great online dating tips in this video.

In the end, it does boil down to confidence. Men can tell whether a woman is confident in herself or not. Nervousness can be a turn-off, especially in excess. These tips should help make you more confident and allow you to be more yourself on a date.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally? 

Going back to school and also choosing to work for myself.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life? 

My work ethic and the determination I’ve had throughout my professional career.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have? 

Achieving my education at an accelerated pace.  Start a family!

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity? 

I can be a a little too worrisome sometimes and cause myself to become stressed out.

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my Puppy Kona!

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About the author

Christina Moore

Christina Moore is a part time blogger and full time adventurer! Originally from the east coast, she now resides in San Diego. If she's not writing you can find her on the beach soaking up the sun.

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