Founder of Identity Magazine, Susan Vernicek shares her personal experience from being the bride to now being a wife.
Did you know that there is actual science behind our happiness and many of us think that being married would bring us more happiness? Getting hitched can absolutely bring more happiness in many ways, but I bet you didn’t know that there is a study that proves only a “2-Year Marriage Boost”.
We assume marriage comes with all the fantasy that we see on TV and it very well could. From the bride to wife and then on with life will challenge not only your character, but your partners as well. You must hang onto your identity after the big “I do” while you evolve as a team. You must remember that marriage shouldn’t create a massive change in your behaviors towards one another, and keep your loved ones in your life close to you for continued support as you face day-to-day challenges with your partner and evolving family.
You may be reading this before getting hitched, but either way, married or not, I highly recommend purchasing the book “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky. This book will help you discover your happiness and teach you the science behind true happiness, and what it takes to embrace it on your own or with a partner.
What I do know for sure is that I want my marriage to last so my husband and I can go back to our wedding venue, Stroudsmoor Country Inn for our anniversary every single year. Stroudsmoor has become part of our family in so many ways. We grab dinner at their restaurant every once in awhile and our wedding planner checks in on us quite often. She even checks in on how I am feeling now being pregnant with twins—you don’t get that extended family touch with many venues. P.S. If you happen to get married at Stroudsmoor Country Inn, send us your Stroudsmoor wedding photo and receive a complimentary dinner for two for your next anniversary.
Life after the “I do” can be challenging, so I’ve gathered a few tips from married women themselves to help you keep your Identity in tact and your “happily ever after” life.
Hold on to Your Identity: The most important aspect in life after the big day is for you and your partner to remember why you want to spend the rest of your lives with one another. Keep your identities in check and respect each other’s wants and needs throughout your marriage. – Susan V. Your Relationship Shouldn’t Change: Your relationship shouldn’t change, but evolve. You or your partner shouldn’t express new emotions of jealousy, or becoming controlling, you should however, become closer each and every day. – Susan V.
Adult Time Out: Take a cool down period during fights. Someone has to do the time out so both sides can think with their heads not just their emotions. Always take time for a date night/day because it’s important to remember what brought you both together. – Jenna K.
Communication: Work hard to have an open and honest communication. –Jennifer D.
It takes Work: I once saw on a billboard “ What have you done for your marriage today?” People get stuck in the routine and although they are happy, their relationship could lack the attention needed and deserves. – Ene M.
Fighting and Making Up: Keep the fights clean and the sex…well, ya know… – Aileen M.
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.
What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
When it comes to marriage, I have accepted the fact that I am not always right and marriage is about compromising.
What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I appreciate my marriage. It has almost been a year and we have already grown in so many ways—especially now with twins on the way!
What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
I have financial goals that I want to accomplish and contribute to our family, I am really proud of what I’ve been able to bring to the marriage so far.
What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?
I am way too affectionate that I think I can be annoying to my husband. LOL. I need to play hard to get!
How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?” I love my evolving identity.