Before & After "I Do" From the Editor

How To Be a MOH or a Bridesmaid

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Susan Vernicek
Written by Susan Vernicek

It wasn’t until this year that I found myself having the itch and desire to dig further and finally figure out what I truly believe exists with our Souls, and possibly a GOD. I’m sure it has to do with the fact that I’m facing losing a parent—my 87 year-old Father— sooner than I want.

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Every month, Founder Susan Vernicek, writes and shares with you new experiences and thoughts that either happen to her or she witnesses. This month Susan shares some advice on how to be a MOH or a bridesmaid so you all don’t crash your own party.



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I was planning on sharing my experience with being a MOH (Maid of Honor) all along, but didn’t know it was going to be in the way of providing advice. I can only hope that sharing my experience will help those of you who are part of a bridal party in the future.

Have you been asked to be a part of a wedding party, and it is a bittersweet moment? Of course you want to celebrate your dear friend’s next chapter in her life, but you may not have the budget, you may not like the other bridesmaids, or maybe you just don’t like the stress of being part of a wedding party. Being a MOH or a bridesmaid can be stressful for many reasons, and those stressors can cause some pettiness within the bridal party. The good news is that, no matter what happens during the planning process, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, and the wedding always end up being a success.

Having had the experience of being someone’s MOH, I can honestly say that it was a much more challenging role than I had expected. As the MOH, it’s extremely difficult to make everybody happy when planning the bachelorette weekend and bridal shower.

When I accepted the role of MOH, I assumed that everyone who made the commitment to be part of the bridal party was fully aware of the expenses involved, especially since the bride gave us well over a year notice. In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, “Don’t Make Assumptions.”

I knew when I accepted this role that I had to keep in mind what the bride’s wishes for her bachelorette celebration were—wine, dancing, pool, spa, and spending time with friends—and my goal was to deliver. Despite any drama that may have occurred, I tried to keep in mind that it’s all about the bride-to-be. All the celebrations were a success in the end, so that was a victory in my book.

As someone who is currently still fulfilling the role of MOH, I’ve compiled a short list of good tips to make the bachelorette party and bridal shower planning a smoother process. Again, I am not an expert, I’m just speaking from experience.  The main take-away is that committing to be a MOH or a bridesmaid is an expense that you need to come to terms with the minute you say yes. So, start saving.

1.    For the MOH: You are the chosen one, so most of the planning and organizing is up to you.  Nowadays, many bridal parties all plan together, but it can be a headache. Too many cooks in the kitchen—it never goes smoothly.  I highly suggest planning the bachelorette weekend by yourself and when you have everything set, present it to the rest of the bridesmaids. As for the bridal shower, that’s easier to plan together and have the others lead the way if they are inclined to do so.

2.    For the Bridesmaid: You are just as important as the MOH, so help out where you can, but don’t make it more stressful for the MOH and her planning. Offer your help and if she needs it she will definitely ask.

3.    Appreciate the Journey: It’s easy to get caught up and not appreciate the journey; I certainly had this experience and am saddened by it.  Everybody has to remember it’s an honor to be part of a wedding party, and appreciating the journey and having fun makes it so much more enjoyable.

4.    Keep in Mind: That if you haven’t yet been the bride, you will soon have your turn and everyone will be celebrating you. If you’ve already been a bride, keep in mind that you’ve had your turn and it’s time to give back.

I am relieved that the celebrations went well, and I knew it would be great when all the girls arrived at Crystal Springs Golf Resort in, Hamburg NJ.  I worked with a woman who managed and organized bigger groups for special occasions. She was fantastic and helped me plan our weekend that included relaxing by the pool, a spa morning, a private wine tour and tasting, dinner outside overlooking the mountains, and the biggest suite the resort had to offer!

When we arrived, we were in awe of how beautiful the resort was and how friendly the staff was. I was so excited to be there with my best friend and show her a great time while celebrating her future.

I was stunned at how Crystal Springs Resort has something for everybody. We saw many families vacationing there, couples celebrating anniversaries, weddings, and much more. They had so many indoor and outdoor pools, but our favorite was the biosphere with the slide and waterfalls. I think we were the only adult women going down the slide! That’s the best part about bachelorette weekends—you can really let loose and act like a complete buffoon…to a certain degree, of course.

crystalsprings
Overall, remember to have fun when you are part of a wedding party, try to keep peace with everybody, and remember that it’s all about the bride-to-be!  If you need an idea for a bachelorette getaway, I highly recommend Crystal Springs Golf Resort.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I’ve accepted that you really can’t make assumptions and that not everybody always does the right thing.  Also, who’s to say what the right thing is…? We all are different.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate my friendships and know that people change as continue in our lives. Friendships come and go, and it’s important to remember and appreciate them for the good. Let go when it doesn’t leave you feeling good or happy.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

The friendships that I have gained and a goal to continue to nurture the friends I have and trust now.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I tend to think I’m right and hate to be told I am wrong.  I am stubborn.

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my ability to continue to grow and learn at age 32.

Susan Vernicek – Founder & CEO

Helping Women Get All A’s in the Game of Life – Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™

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About the author

Susan Vernicek

Susan Vernicek

Facts about Susan Vernicek:
• She’s happily married and a mother of twins.

• She’s tried almost every fad diet back in her quick-fix days, admits at age 34 it’s a struggle to work hard on overall balance and is focused on not giving into the unhealthy fads we see daily.

• She’s all natural with natural blonde hair, uneven breasts, a bigger nose, and full of curves that she learns to appreciate more and more each day.

• She had a career where part of her job was staring at herself 40 hours a week manipulating her very own face as well as others.

• She’s the youngest of 7, ranging from 30-50+, an Aunt, Great Aunt and even younger than some of her nieces and nephews!

• She’s traveled and seen over 8 countries and spent a summer in London finding her passion and embracing life.

• She created S&J Identity, Inc. AKA Identity Magazine, having no business background and at the age of 25.

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