Women's Interest

Intimate Q&A: Getting the Most Out of Your Relationship (Dec. – Mar. 2012)

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Identity
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Relationships can be complicated. Identity wants to help relieve some of the stress by answering your questions. Lisa Velazquez has the answers you may need in order to figure out everything that your relationship or your sex life may throw your way.


Lisa Velazquez

QUESTION:  Do you think it’s strange that a guy I just met, lives an hour plus away and is now looking at places to live in my area? I didn’t ask him and we’ve been on two dates. Should I be worried he may be clingy? – Anonymous

ANSWER:

Before you become worried, ask him why he’s decided to move to your area. If you don’t ask, he won’t tell. It could be for work or for a better commute and everyday lifestyle. He may have been planning the move before he even met you. Unless he’s moving to your block and has indicated that it is to be closer to you, than I don’t see any worries. If you’re worried that he may be clingy, just be sure to limit the time you spend with him for now. However, when you are with him genuinely get to know him. Take things slow and maintain your own life (always).

QUESTION: How do you tell your boyfriend that you want to be intimate more often? I don’t want to put him down, but I want it more, and he doesn’t put the moves on enough! – Anonymous

ANSWER:

Great question! The best way to avoid intimidating a man about sex is to entertain him with sex.

Stop being a lady waiting to get laid and just put the moves on your man. Entice him by telling him how much you want him while touching him (instead of complaining about lack of sex). As I mentioned, he’ll be too turned on (entertained) to be intimidated.

QUESTION: When is too soon to move in with the guy you are dating? – Kelly 29, NJ

ANSWER:

First and foremost, I do not advise you to move in with a guy that you are “dating.” “Dating” is the period of time you should take to get to know the guy you’re interested in. You need to do this from separate homes and on dates with him. Before you consider such a serious commitment to change your lifestyle, the man you plan on moving in with should be in a mutually committed relationship (with you) or be your fiancé.

In other words, too soon is when there is no serious mutual commitment between you and the guy you are dating, coupled with a lack of sufficient time to get to know each other (and meet each others families). I recommend that you spend at least a year and a half doing this in order to be sure. After all, when you decide to move in with a man, you are taking your fabulous self off the market, so it is best to be sure that he doesn’t want to just “play house” instead of creating a real future together.

QUESTION: Do you have some key signs on how to know if your man is cheating on you? – Yvette 32, NY

ANSWER:

Good question. If you haven’t established trust in your relationship you will always be suspicious of your partner. Some signs of cheating are when your partner starts to change his routine while becoming secretive about his whereabouts, who he is spending time with and his phone calls. Also, if he has a lack of interest in your life and spending time with you. These signs can be a hint that he is hiding another lifestyle or relationship(s) from you.

Overall, it is important to understand that before jumping to any conclusions, be sure to have a heart to heart talk with your partner about the current state of your relationship. Ask him why he has been so distant and secretive. Remember to ask him if he is dating or having sex with another person. I know that the truth can hurt for a moment, but it can save you a lifetime of pain.

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Identity

Identity

Identity is a National online magazine that empowers women to Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Through a hand-selected team of writers and expert Q & A columns, our mission is to empower women to get all A’s in the game of life by accepting, appreciating, and achieving. We believe that once you accept a situation or circumstance and show gratitude and appreciation for what you currently have, it is then that you can achieve at a greater level within yourself and your life.

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