Appreciate Articles Unwind with a Laugh

Unwind With a Laugh – Hear Me Roar

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Dava Krause is an Identity Staff Writer, but a comedian first. She has dedicated her time to provide Identity readers with some laughter in their lives.  We don’t always have to be serious, so unwind with a laugh from time to time with Dava and Identity.


 

Comedian Dava Krouse

My husband and I recently bought a house. It’s the size of a shoebox and has no running water – but it’s ours.  Okay, it has running water. And we love it.  But after all the paperwork was done and we had gone through the hell of moving, I began to have a bizarre urge that I did not appreciate.

I wanted to decorate.

(Insert organ playing a loud minor chord here)

Oh God, No! I tried shoving it down. Home Depot became my personal nudie bar. 

I would take the long drive home to go in the store and walk the aisles of temptation.  Tile and glassware and hardware, oh my! I’d crouch in a corner and mumble to myself, “That kitchen isn’t real, Dava. Nobody in real life has that kitchen. You can stare all you want at that marble, but the counter top does not match sink.” When I got home I’d lie to my husband and say there was traffic.  I’d stash design catalogues in my nightstand like “Playgirls.” I’d spent afternoons on the Internet creepily looking at Instyle Décor  and then delete my browser history like I had been looking at porn.

I was ashamed.

Decorating, in my mind, was totally in the “stereotypical women” category for me. And if you read my last article you know that those are things that don’t generally interest me and in fact are things I tend to avoid on principle even if I did have a slight interest in them.

Then something clicked in my head. I thought, “If I do it all by myself, especially the hard labor that you’d expect a man to do, then I’ve cancelled out the woman stuff with the man stuff and I could feel good about that.”

Cut to me crying on the bathroom floor under a fallen, broken glass shelf, starring at the large holes I made in what used to be a perfectly acceptable solid wall. It was like a bad episode of the “The Cosby Family.”

And that’s when my husband walked in.

I was caught. Pants down. Not exactly the finished re-modeled bathroom I wanted him to come home and see. I broke down and confessed it all.

And once again I faced the heart of the matter. How do I identify as a woman? What does “being a woman” mean? Does it mean I posses a specific set of characteristics?  If I posses them, does that make me a stereotype? What if I don’t posses them?  Does that make me manly? I don’t have a solid answer. So for now I’ll just say: I am woman. Hear me roar. See me decorate.


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About the author

Dava Krause

Dava Krause

Dava Krause is a national touring stand-up comic, writer and actress with a recurring role on House, M.D on FOX. She also appeared on the spin-off In House appisode “Nurse Jeffery” featured on iTunes. Hugh Laurie said she had a “brilliant comedic face.” Her debut comedy rock album, “Child of the 80’s” is now available on over 300 websites including iTunes and Amazon and can be heard on XM Satellite’s Radio. In Los Angeles, Dava performs stand-up regularly at The Hollywood Improv, The Ice House and on Tom Arnold’s show “Laughing with the Stars” at The Laugh Factory. She also produces and hosts a monthly show in Hollywood featuring some of the top musical comics in the business called “Hotel Comedy.” Dava is a National Voice Over artist that can be heard in video games and radio and television commercials nationwide.