Sue's Articles

Sex, Dating, and Relationships-Your Intimate Q&A – September

lisa-velazquez Lisa Velazquez

Question: Can the shape of a man’s penis present problems physically (such as pain and discomfort) for a woman? – Maria, FL

Answer: Great question! A woman’s vagina is approximately 2-4 inches deep (not aroused) and 5-7 inches deep (aroused) give or take an inch. If a man’s penis is very long this can create discomfort if a woman’s vagina is shallow. Also, she may find that she gets poked in the cervix if she bends her legs up towards her shoulders (or rests her legs on his shoulders) during intercourse.

If thrusting continues it can lead to more pain and penis entry beyond the cervix. If this happens to you, trust your body and speak up. Tell your partner that you need to change to a more comfortable and pleasurable position for both of you (not just him!). Please don’t let smooth talking (pseudo-comforting) convince you to endure discomfort. After all it’s sex, not childbirth!

Question: If there’s not going to be a “pink pill” drug available (a women’s Viagra, if you will), something just for women with low libido and lack of interest. What’s out there that is natural, but could address the same issue of increasing desire for a woman over 40? It's something that my own doctor can't answer, so I'd be interested in what your experts would say. – Trish, 55 NYC.

Answer: If you are experiencing low libido and lack of interest, I would recommend having a check up in order to rule out a medical condition or medications contributing to your sexual issues. For example, a symptom of hypothyroidism is low sex drive. In addition, this can be related to stressful and unhealthy lifestyle. Do your best to distress, rid your life of toxic relationships, seek balance and eat healthy and exercise regularly. This can give you energy and can help you release endorphins.

To answer your question, there are plenty of arousal oils that you can buy over the counter that may address part of your issue part of the issue. Please check with your doctor prior to use if you are on any medications or in case of any allergies to the ingredients.

If there is no medical condition or lifestyle issue contributing to your sexual issue, then I would highly suggest masturbation. Take some time out to ignite your desires by creating sexual fantasies in your mind and get to know your sexual self again. Remember, the biggest sex organ is the brain and this is where we plant our “desire seeds”. Women are not one-trick ponies! We are more aware of this as we mature within our sexuality. We are not sexually wired the same as men! We require much effort to become aroused and feel desire, so take your time, Ladies.

Question: Are there any foods that women can eat to make "down there" taste better? – Caroline, 20, WI.

Answer: First and foremost, it is essential to understand that the vagina is a self cleaning machine. In saying that, I would avoid allowing anyone to perform oral sex on you during menstruation as well as plus 3-5 days after to allow it to do a clean up. To answer your question, the foods that are healthy for your vagina are in fact great for your overall health. I would recommend eating foods that contain acidophilus (also as a supplement) and beta carotene, such as yogurt, carrots (limited the amount) sweet potatoes apricots, broccoli, spinach, etc. These foods help prevent yeast infections.

If you actually noticed a bad taste in your vaginal fluids it can be for any number of reasons. For example, if you are taking medications (i.e. antibiotics, birth control pills, etc.), this may upset the natural pH balance of your vagina and lead to a yeast infection (overgrowth) causing odor and white lumpy vaginal discharge. Also, this may be a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection. In this case, please make an appointment with a gynecologist or nurse practitioner.

Question: Is sperm good for you? Are there vitamins and nutrients if ingested? How about if it used as a topical skin treatment? – Dianne, AZ

Answer: Sperm is actually only 1% of semen. There are in fact vitamins and nutrients in semen, such as ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), calcium, magnesium, potassium, B12 and zinc, etc. The remainder is water, mucous, sugar, acids and bases including deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). However, according to a 2009 study by the Centers for Disease Control,  HIV, genital warts (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, intestinal parasites (amebiasis) and hepatitis A can be transmitted through oral sex (fellatio: mouth to penis).

Basically, if you are unaware of your partner’s sexual health status you will be putting yourself at risk to contract a sexually transmitted disease from ingesting his semen. Are you willing to put yourself at risk for a FREE multivitamin and FREE skin care? Are we this cheap, Ladies? However, it does not seem FREE, considering all the hard work you’d have to do for this freebie (pun intended). I recommend that you and your partner get tested for STD’s twice in 6 months before engaging in unprotected oral sex. Just stick to fruits, vegetables and water for your vitamins, nutrients and natural skin care.

Do you have any questions?  E-mail them here and we'll answer them as soon as we can.  Note: We do not use last names! E-mail:

Say YES to...

Receiving Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement Inspiration!

I agree to have my personal information transfered to GetResponse ( more information )

We will never give away, trade or sell your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time.

About the author



Identity is a National online magazine that empowers women to Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Through a hand-selected team of writers and expert Q & A columns, our mission is to empower women to get all A’s in the game of life by accepting, appreciating, and achieving. We believe that once you accept a situation or circumstance and show gratitude and appreciation for what you currently have, it is then that you can achieve at a greater level within yourself and your life.

Deals4You - Identity Magazine

Want Inside Scoop?

Join our mailing list to receive free inside scoop on exclusive deals for personal growth, success & VIP gifting—all while supporting female business owners! It doesn’t get juicier than this! #womensupportingwomen #deals4You

You have Successfully Subscribed!