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Unwind With a Laugh: Funny Wedding Stories

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Unwind with a LaughThis issue we asked you what was the funniest thing you’ve seen or experienced at a wedding?

Thank you for sharing and enjoy this break in your day!

The Check In
My friend and I checked into this HoJo (Howard Johnson) as part of a wedding group.  We lugged all of our things up to the 2nd floor and proceeded into the room where I hit someone with the door.  I looked down and it was the maintenance man tying his shoe.  He got up and ran out of the room.  A maid was on the phone acting surprised that whoever called said they rented this room and the maid stated that the A/C should be working now and hung up.  I then look over and I see a Bud Light can on the counter…hmmm

The maid proceeds to walk towards me mumbling something about a courtesy call and a breakfast buffet, but all I could focus on was that her pants were undone, her shirt untucked, she was wearing NO shoes and her hair was all over the place.  As she walks towards me she is tucking in her shirt and trying to button her pants, which she was having trouble with.  She bends down in front of me and removes her shoe that was wedged under the ottoman leg (the wobbly ottoman, the place where the alleged “relations” happened).  AWKWARD!

She picks up the Bud Light can and goes into the bathroom where she takes out the garbage and states she will need to bring me a new bathroom garbage.  BARF!!!!!  If not for our courtesy call, I’m sure I would have walked in on the main event!  What kind of hotel is this?!!?  When we came down to change rooms and complain at the front desk, the girl said “well, you’ll need to speak with a manager, they were just up there changing the filter.”  HA!  He was cleaning out a filter alright -Jasmin

Giving the Bride Away
When my husband George and I were married 19 years ago, the wedding was held in my sister’s backyard. Chairs had been set up with a center aisle and when it was time for my sister Bev to walk down the aisle as my matron of honor, her dog Bear (a brown poodle) thought it would be fun to take a walk too. So my wedding pictures show Bev and Bear preceding me down the aisle. The pictures also show my two brothers-in-law giving me away. And when the judge asked, “Who gives this woman…?” they pointed to each other and said, “HE does!” Everybody just cracked up. Needless to say, it was a pretty memorable wedding! -Nancy Sayles

Wisconsin Surprise

It was in Northern Wisconsin, A hot July night combined with plenty of free beer and no security led to a very strange occurrence. My DJ had just played the last song and was ready to pack up when the groom requested one last dance. We obliged and the floor filled with happily dancing people. Suddenly a man streaked across the dance floor and (with no warning) hit the groom hard in the face. The groom returned the punch, yelling and screaming ensued and there was shortly what appeared to be a football pile up in the middle of the dance floor. I got on the microphone and tried to restore order but it was hopeless. Then an angel in white saved the day. The bride came in screaming Stop Stop! This is our wedding day! How could you do this dad? “Dad?” I thought. Then, the groom and the father of the bride stopped their fight, ran after the bride out into the parking lot and they all drove off. I never found out the reason for the fight but I have always wondered how that marriage turned out. -DJ, Kevin Hall

The Switch
The other story was unusual in the fact that the hotel actually stopped the reception and kicked the people out. It was a big hotel in Minneapolis and the reception was in a beautiful poolside area. It was a large wedding party five bridesmaids and groomsmen and they had a lot of fun with the magic/comedy show we did for them. Once we started the dance they were bouncing off the walls and parting hard. About 9:30 the entire wedding party disappeared. Twenty minutes later they were back but the entire party had switched clothes. The bridesmaids looked pretty good, but the men were definitely never made to fit into the dresses (especially the groom!) the crowd went crazy with laughter 
and screaming. And that would have been fine but then one of the men tried to get his clothes back from a woman. The woman retaliated by pushing him into the pool. More pushing and shoving ensued and there were dozens of people in the pool including the bride. The hero of this story was the groom who had sense enough to save the wedding gown from a dip in the pool. As security started leading people away I could tell the bride would remember this special night forever! 
 -DJ, Kevin Hall

Dress Attire Gone Bad
I was dating an actor in Los Angeles who had a lot of large circle of friends, many of them famous. I am a flight attendant with a limited budget and I would stress out about what to wear to events with him. During our four years together, I even went to such desperate measures as to buy a plastic tag gun from a store supply store so I could reattach sales tags to garments after I had worn them, and then return them. This is not something I’m proud of, but it’s something I did out of pride combined with a limited income!

My actor boyfriend got an invitation to Alice Walton’s wedding in Monterey; CA. Alice Walton is one of the richest women in the country. She is a member of the Walton Family. Does that ring any bells? How about “Wal-Mart”? Yes that’s right, the family who started the Wal-Mart chain. Not only are they one of the richest families in the country, but the wedding was on New Years Day. And the rehearsal dinner was on New Years Eve, at the most expensive hotel in a very expensive town. I was getting nervous just thinking about what to wear while my boyfriend was reading the invitation. I asked him what he would wear to the party on New Years Eve at the most expensive hotel in town. It’s so easy for men! He casually said that he would wear his tux—a beautiful expensive tuxedo that he owns. This sent my stress level through the roof! I was already tired of whole returning-clothing-spiral-of-shame, so I decided to invest in a gown. I splurged and bought this drop-dead gorgeous floor length gown with a plunging neckline and bare back.

At that point I thought I was all set: I can walk into the most expensive hotel in town with my tall dark and handsome boyfriend in his expensive tux with my head held high! Never did I dream things would turn out like they did. When we walked into the ballroom for the rehearsal dinner, my heart immediately sank.

Everyone was in jeans and t-shirts and even the bride-to-be was wearing a tracksuit! It was New Years Eve, for pete sake, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on! There we were, looking like we were ready for the Oscars, and there was everybody else, looking like they were straight out of a Gap commercial! Not only were we completely overdressed, but I was also completely over-exposed in my plunging neckline gown. I think I was hyperventilating at this point. I even went so far as to go the front desk to ask for a safety pin to try to make my dress less revealing. It turns out the Walton family are casual folks regardless how much money they have. They went out to their way to make me feel comfortable and welcome even though we stood out like a sore thumb. Numerous people explained that the wedding the next day would be just as casual so I actually wore jeans to the wedding of the wealthiest people I’d ever met! The wedding was outside overlooking the water and completely casual and low key. It was honestly the best wedding I have ever been to. They have so much money that they know it’s not about how much money you spend or how much your dress cost. It’s about friends and family and celebrating the occasion. 
- Betty Thesky, Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase

 

City Hall Wedding
We were short of cash, so we had to do the City Hall thing, so we improvised. We live a couple blocks from City Hall.

My wife and I started our own wedding march from our apartment. The neighbors saw us, and for some reason started to follow. Unfortunately, I did not plan the City Hall thing so great, and 20 of my family members basically over took City Hall. We were incredibly loud and laughing the whole time. By the time the civil worker was done marrying us, he looked at us and said, I never want to see you both in here again. with a laugh. He did so because we packed his office from wall to wall.

The neighbors that followed waited outside for us to come out. Of all the weddings in my large family, they still talk about this one and it happened almost 3 years ago on 9/20/2007. Thanks for asking! I attached a photo from inside city hall. I am the guy in the center. My wife is on my right with my nephew in front. – Steven Lowell

 

 

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About the author

Dava Krause

Dava Krause

Dava Krause is a national touring stand-up comic, writer and actress with a recurring role on House, M.D on FOX. She also appeared on the spin-off In House appisode “Nurse Jeffery” featured on iTunes. Hugh Laurie said she had a “brilliant comedic face.” Her debut comedy rock album, “Child of the 80’s” is now available on over 300 websites including iTunes and Amazon and can be heard on XM Satellite’s Radio. In Los Angeles, Dava performs stand-up regularly at The Hollywood Improv, The Ice House and on Tom Arnold’s show “Laughing with the Stars” at The Laugh Factory. She also produces and hosts a monthly show in Hollywood featuring some of the top musical comics in the business called “Hotel Comedy.” Dava is a National Voice Over artist that can be heard in video games and radio and television commercials nationwide.

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