By Pegi Burdick
This is the case where the teacher became the pupil.
For several years I have been coaching women on finding their true, authentic selves. In the process, I take them back to their childhoods where we look to identify where the negative messages began that robbed them of their identity.
On this journey back in time, they start to see that what happened to them was not their fault. It was a product of other forces, other agendas; other deep seeded needs of their caregivers.
In examining the past, I am able to show them how in the present, those messages are being echoed in symbols and metaphors. These moments of emotional logic resonate with my clients and lead to that “AH-HA” moment, which allows the real truth in. Those watershed realizations release the ‘gunk’ that has been clogging up in their systems, thus enabling them to heal and move forward. If one cannot feel, they cannot heal.
Many of the tools I give my clients so they can stop the further erosion of their identity revolve around forgiveness, compassion, patience and perspective. The ‘big’ four as I call them. All of these have been my private journey of healing as well.
I understand all of my clients profoundly so, because it has been my journey. I am the poster child of my coaching series, The Financial Whisperer. I have lived most of their stories.
I have clients that have emotional poverty, as I call it. Robbed of true bonding and access to love, they grow up isolated and fearful, sometimes masking it in grandiosity or bravado. Or, living lives barren of joy, insecure, unable to defend themselves appropriately against the invisible monsters in their head.
But, the final lap of truly appreciating myself came through the work I was doing with my clients; their healing validated my belief system, their growth and movement forward proved to me that I had not only value, but also a rare gift.