This section is all about emotions. Kimberly Elmore, an Identity Staff Writer has dedicated her time to educate and discuss a particular emotion in each issue. It’s a great way for women to open up and become more aware of our emotions, feelings, and human behavior. All of these emotions help us understand how to Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ and to Feel Beautiful Everyday!™
“Betrayal can only happen if you love.” ~ John LeCarre
Betrayal. Just reading, seeing, or hearing that word conjures up negative emotions. Perhaps betrayal is such a harsh word because it’s an emotion felt after someone you love hurts you and you don’t know why.
Betray, as defined by dictionary.com, :to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence; to seduce and desert.
Most people have felt betrayed. Sometimes betrayal ends relationships. Friends can betray one another by revealing a secret; lovers can betray one another by cheating and lying.
Once you feel betrayed, perhaps the hardest thing to do is come to terms with that betrayal and move forward. Do you talk to the person to better understand why they betrayed you? Do you tell them off? Do you forgive?
The first step in dealing with a betrayal is to acknowledge it. Pretending it didn’t happen will not help you deal with that betrayal. You can speak with the person who betrayed you or speak with a trusted friend or counselor about the situation and how you are feeling. If you talk with the person who hurt you, you may discover that person didn’t intentionally betray you. Or, if you decide to talk to friend or counselor they may be able to advise you on how to deal with the situation.
After some time goes by, you’ll have more clarity about the situation. You’ll be better equipped to decide if you feel the friendship or relationship is worth fixing.
If you feel the relationship or friendship is worth fixing, you’re loved one will have to earn your trust back. Be sure that you are truly able to work at moving past the betrayal. It will be a process, and it will not help you or the other person if you constantly remind him or her about the past betrayal.
If you feel you cannot move past the betrayal and you need to end your relationship with your friend or lover, that’s OK too. It’s up to you. Only you will know how you truly feel.
No matter what decision you make, it’s important that you learn to forgive the person who betrayed you because it only hurts you to hold onto any bitterness and hatred.
